BLOGBETTERKNOW.

NEW WEBSITE!

2010-04-14T00:25:00.000+01:00

MY NEW WEBSITE:

http://www.loukiac.com

CLICK HERE

Hello

2010-04-08T11:31:00.000+01:00

Hiya Blog!

*feels nostalgic*

Ok bye x

LATERS

2010-01-15T16:05:00.001Z

If you need me then loukialc@gmail.com is where I can be found.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

The Grime Awards. Get me still safe fam blud.

2010-01-14T21:02:00.000Z

So the people over at Grimeforum had the genius idea of having 'Grime Awards' this year. I don't know if it's the first time this has happened but it's brilliant. As a fan of Grime music let me just say, that all jokes aside (and let's face it there are many to be made) I think this is a really great idea to recognise, congratulate and highlight the huge amount of talent there is in the scene. Hopefully it will be another small step in diminishing the cliches that come with it. I recently spoke to someone who said they appreciate the beats and the sound of grime, but from when an MC opens their mouth it becomes child's play which I think is very unfair. Now I'm no grime know-it-all or insider by any means, all that is left to the pros but the fact that I'm from the Midlands (bassline heaven) and grim stole my heart - I think I'm a nice fan :)

Despite this, however, I have still been dying of laughter for the past hour. The thought of a Grime Awards ceremony has had me unable to breathe and triggered all these questions in my head like; What park will they be held in? Will the winners get a real fake gold medal shaped like a shank? Who is presenting? What if Maniac wins an award - will there be a live stream of him in prison accepting his prize whilst doing push-ups and wearing a bandana? What refreshments will be served, magic brownies? Will there be anyone on standby in case Tempz doesn't win anything and commences to boy off da ting? What will the acceptance speeches be like? I really hope that there will be a ceremony and if I don't get invited then let's hope SBTV will be there to catch the tears, tantrums and fresh trims.

If I was doing my own Grime Awards they'd probably go more like this:

Sexiest Grime MC:
Skepta
Griminal
JME
Tempz
P Money
Frisco
Little Dee
All of the above.
None of the above.

Sexiest Grime DJ:
(if you don't know what they look like vote by which voice you'd rather hear screaming your name)
Spyro
Vectra
JJ
Maximum
Logan (and his hair)
Butterz
All of the above.
None of the above.

Sexiest Producer:
(if you don't know what they look like go by which beat you'd rather bang to)
Silencer
Maniac
Terror Danjah
Rude Kid
Dot Rotten
All of the above.
None of the above.

Video that you wish you were in:
Next Hype - as the role of Tempz's girlfriend who helps him kick off the HDTV from the stand.

Over Me - as the woman that JME does what ever he does with those flying words to.

Goin' In - as one of the groupies in the background.

Other - basically one I haven't mentioned cos I haven't seen.

Bar that makes you go all tingly in your special place:
JME - "When I’m 'ere dont bring ur ting OVER
Cos ur girlfriends heart I’ll win OVER
She’s deep in love I’ll swim OVER
She’ll go head over heels and spin OVER"

TEMPZ - "What d'you know about the all-star pars
Don't wanna see man driving his car,
Hide behind tints with the leng in the car,
I jumped out the car put the leng to his heart,
I said "get out the CAR!"
I said "this aint a PAR!"
I smashed the window dragged man out the car
(DRAPES!) Get out the car!"

P Money - "I think mans got it in for me,
Heard dem man wanna go gym for me.
Because half of da girls are linkin' me,
But it's cool though it's not a thing to me.
Bare foolishness dem a bring to me.
To the face I will tell a man simply,
If you don't want your girlfriend to check me out
Don't let your girlfriend bump into me."

'Commercial' Grime artist whose wag you'd rather be:
The 'bonkers' Dizzee Rascal?
Would you like to 'take that' from Wiley?
Maybe you want a 'diamond ring' from Chipmunk?
Or is Tinchy Stryder your 'number one'?

Send us your votes which will be counted and verified. Results will be announced at the end of the month. Happy voting.

Na na naaaiiiii

2010-01-14T18:32:00.000Z

I interviewed N-Dubz today.
Look out for it in the next issue of SUPERSUPER.

Na na naaaiiiii...

For the Fun of It

2010-01-11T21:40:00.001Z

My toy-boy MILF (MC I'd like to....) Chippy gave out a free mixtape yesterday just for the fun of it. And quite fittingly, the bloody thing is called For The Fun Of It.

If you haven't done so already then you can download it by clicking here.

I listened to the entire thing on the way to work this morning and it's exactly what I expected. Not grime and a big fat juicy musical SEND. And also - when the fuck did he become a hip hop artist?

Now I love Chipmunk, and I'm not one to criticise his blatant abandoment of where he originally came from because let's be honest, he must be one of the richest teenagers in his field at the moment. At the same time however, I find it quite unsettling when I hear Drake, Beyonce, Timbaland and Nelly Futardo on a 'Chipmunk' mixtape. I realise the novelty of covering/dubbing American popular music must be exciting (not to mention convenient due to the magnitude of audiences for these songs) but come on - you're a UK artist Chippy...not to mention the self confessed 'grime scene' saviour.

Content wise, Chippy's flow is standardly witty and actually quite adorable but thematically, the whole thing is quite disappointing. Every single song is basically telling everyone who might not rate him to suck out, telling all the men that their girlfriends want him and as previously mentioned, it's simply a big fat indirect to his haters.

Chippy did you not read my tweet the other day?
"You can't hate someone without caring for them so if you have a lot of haters, it means lots of people care about your life..."
You should be flattered!

My favourite track is 2010 featuring King of Grime (and king of Twitter) Wiley and of course She Likes. However the track which stands out most to me is his cover of Beyonce's Sweet Dreams. Only Chip diddy chip could flip diddy flip an epic love song into a BIG FAT SEND.

*insert creasing Loukia here*

He is a very angry young man these days. VERY angry.

Anyway. Here's his F64 for SBTV which I actually adore:

I still love you Chippy even though comparing League of My Own to your recent offering, is like comparing cake to sprouts.

The Dilf Diaries

2010-01-06T15:21:00.002Z

Make me 'Say Ahh' then...GOSH!

2010-01-06T15:01:00.000Z

Trying to decide who I want to marry more. Trey Songz or Losooooooooo... *sighs*

Another day, another revelation. This is what it is:

2010-01-06T00:36:00.002Z

SAME SCRIPT DIFFERENT CAST.

and a new protagonist every month.

A word of advice to those people that are confusing Twitter.com with Match.com:

Meaningless banter aside, if you're going to use social networking in an actual attempt to get sex/find love, then from the time when you decide to recycle your bars it's probably best you don't use them on a group of girls who might even be remotely connected (you'd be surprised) because a) you're going to get your reputation into a whole heap of mess and b) GIRLS TALK. Remember that.

We can hide behind a mask of charm and wit but everything we say and do in life will one day come back to haunt us. It's called Karma bruv. So be nice yeah. Be nice to yourself if anything.

Anyway who gassed these bitches up?

HELLO :)

HOT AIR BALLOON SEASON

2010-01-05T21:55:00.000Z

HAPPY NEW.....EARS :)

2010-01-01T13:38:00.000Z

HERE'S A NEW YEARS PRESENT YOU CAN LISTEN TO AS YOU SOOTHE YOUR HANGOVERS :)

You may or may not know that me and Sian Anderson did a little something something on Rinse Fm last week. IT was jokes. And if you missed it then you can CLICK HERE to go and download it.

Waheyyyyy!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOUR EARS!

Yo, 2009, LATERS!

2009-12-31T17:00:00.029Z

Click here to read my ten memorable moments of 2009 over at Hot110

But mostly read this story:

2009 has simultaneously been the best and worst year of my life... Go figure.

It started off with me moving from London to Birmingham for 9 months to work and save money, and ended with me moving back to London for the same reasons and having the most fun ever. In between these two events I have had so many experiences, learned so many valuable things and so much has changed/happened that I don't really know where to begin with this blog. And whilst mine might not be as glamorous as some people's, let me tell you, I flippin love my humble little life and the people in it.

Of course this calls for another one of my infamous lists but you know what, as much as I love words, for once in my life I'm going to choose the non long-winded and wordy approach. Let's cut this long story short.

2009 Highlights (and lowlights)-

Left London, went to birmingham, worked lots, worked some more, wrote lots of things, interviewed lots of people, got given a free trip to New York (and gave it away...), spent the summer developing an unhealthy crush, went to Milan fashion week, moved back to London, worked lots, worked some more, wrote lots more things, got my heart broken and thought I learned my lesson but turns out I didn't, met some amazing people and made some friends that will one day be invited to my BIG FAT Greek (and Johnny Depp) Wedding, gave most of my hard earned money to American Apparel throughout the year, went on radio a few times, realised how much I actually adore my family, and the rest I'll tell you another day.

Now I'm not about to claim 2010 (partly because obviously nobody knows what might happen and mostly because I'm not a gassed grime MC) but I do believe that life is what you make it so I intend to make life in 2010 one where I smile a lot more, sigh a lot less and generally feel happier and hopefully a bit skinnier than ever before. A bit like what I said last year. I guess that kind of suggests that I failed 2009 but I didn't - I just want 2010 and every year hence forth to get better and better.

I wish everyone good health, wealth, happiness and above all love, because despite the cynic I might secretly be, despite my yet to be mended heart and despite my renouncement of all things emotional, I think that deep down I probably believe that without love, your life is trivial. Even with nothing else in your life apart from love, the grey days won't seem so grey and the pars of life become more bearable.

NO FUCKING HOMO!

I guess the long story didn't get cut short then:

And now for my Oscar acceptance speech:

Big up everyone who made 2009 as adventurous as it was, big up everyone who made me laugh/cry (or both) and big up everyone I worked and partied with over 2009.

Some names:

Mum and Dad (I hope they don't read my blog (lol) but they're the fucking best - if I turn out half as good as my parents I'll be a pretty fucking amazing person one day),

Eleni and Skevi (my best friends and a third of my being - without you two I couldn't function properly),

My cousins (too many to name you know who you are),

Jason Barton (best advice giver and encouraging support - you're the best god-brother a girl could wish for),

William Skilliam (Nicest man I've ever met and after 2 years of knowing you, I think I'm qualified to say that. Wii tournaments scheduled monthly as of Jan 2010),

The PTC/AW4 (the jokes are too much and one day we'll take over the world),

JP (only you and I know how you've helped me so much and I'm truly greatful),

Antony (my favourite French, Irish Egyptian Jew - I've known you for less than 3 months but even when I get fired we're gonna keep bangin' out the grime beats)
SHAKIRA (lol) - my new years resolution is to become like you - thanks for inspiring me to become a sexy belly dancer.

and finally,

The Heartbreaker - I feel like not bigging you up would mean ignoring half of this year so I couldn't do it. Despite the heart break you kept me entertained till the small hours on a daily basis for a substantial chunk of the latter part of 2009. You taught me lots of things: like how to use my Mac properly, how real life>virtual life, how going out is very overrated, and how ten billion per cent Jamaican white rum wasn't made for smelling but for straight up drinking, no questions. And you might not know it yet but the feeling is mutual on your part. Trust me. You don't know about meeeee hahahaha! ;)

Right then everyone.
If I love you, you already know I love you. I don't even need to tell you. But I will anyway. I fucking love you :)

And if you see me about in the new year then come say hi, I'm really nice. My friend says I'm like a ray of sunshine (except when I get angry, then I'm a thunderbolt from Zeus' collection) I'm the one that smiles all the time, finds most things funny and likes to skank out, camera in hand. A bit like this:

On that note I'm off to spend tonight with my family and maybe even get an early night. Start as you wish to go on and all that...

One day your life will flash before your eyes - Make sure it's worth watching.

Let's make 2010 one of the bits we'll rewind and watch over and over and over again.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

God bless :)

FOOD #fidead

2009-12-28T23:10:00.000Z

Dear every piece of chocolate and every scrap of food lingering around from the fucking festive season,

FUCK OFF NOW!

I'm tryna look like this:

Not like this:

FOR FUCKSAKE!

Annorexia diet and daily riding...of my bike commences tomorrow.

10 reasons why the festive season is a prick.

2009-12-21T23:19:00.001Z

1) For starters the festive season should change it's name to the FATstive season.
Everywhere I look there's fucking treats of lard and edible cellulite. What the fuck is that about? Didn't everyone get the memo? I'm tryna lose pounds not gain them. And don't even chat to me about going for drinks. That's all everyone seems to do these days. Amaretto is like drinking syrup so I had to switch it to vodka and vodka gives me bad hangovers. Lose lose situation. Or more accurately, gain (weight) gain (weight) situation.

2) Cheerful shop workers:
About 'have a nice day and a merry christmas'...
I just queued up for 4 hours to buy reindeer socks and my make up is smeared across my face babes. Fuck off with your fake smiles and fake festive cheer.

3) SHUT THE FUCK UP

Ask Liam he'll tell you.

4) Spending money on shit that will be half price the next day.
Return, exchange and refund queues are not a good look.

5) The family from the mother land come over to celebrate.
This is nice and everything but from when you're taking my room away from me, then go back to Cyprus. And if you have sex in my bed then oh my days...just oh my days...skitz ain't the word.

6) Couples
I don't really care what you bought your boyfriend babes and it's probably best you don't take a pause in the middle of the fucking shoe hall in Topshop to lips each other whilst I'm tryna buy boots because I WILL kick you and it WILL hurt.

7) The people with buckets outside supermarkets asking you to donate to charity.
Excellent cause but stop trying to entertain me because you're pissing me off. All I want is some milk. I'll give you my change but I don't need you to dance like James Brown for me. Can't you see my nose is running to the floor.

8) THE ILL
I've smelt like Olbas oil since early November.

9) Twitter.
That's not really to do with the festive season but it's always a prick. It's more gassed than your mums GAStric band.

10) THE FUCKING SNOW.
I don't give a fuck if it's pretty, I couldn't care less if it looks like a Christmas card outside my window and I don't give a shit how festive it is.
IT'S COLD, SLIPPERY AND A FUCKING HEALTH AND SAFETY HAZARD...and you can't even sue mother nature if you slip and fall and break your neck but not in the good way.

So yes. Over all,

BAH HUMBUG.

(Please note: I love Christmas really).

Show me that I'm special tell me boy...

2009-12-21T22:44:00.000Z

BIG TUNE.

(Also...when is Brandy bringing out a new album? I fucking miss her!)

Everybody knows that we're OGz...

2009-12-19T14:14:00.000Z

The flyer says it all.

Click HERE or HERE to get your tickets.

And can I just say:

FACK.

The fact that you can actually understand every word he says...woiii.

Currently, to me, P Money's flow is the sickest EVER.

See you there.

It's SO cold.

2009-12-19T00:50:00.000Z

The good thing about the weather being so butters, is the fact that us girls don't need one of these:

Reasons why I want to have a threesome with Shakira Part 2:

2009-12-18T22:18:00.000Z

As someone once said "sexiest woman with a chandelier on her head ever"...

Just to clarify: I like boys.

Look, it's me and my boyfriend Enrique Iglesias:

DEAD PAR-DY/ED HARDY. PRICKS.

2009-12-17T19:23:00.001Z

I already knew this would happen.
Remember THIS.

Well apparently Christian Audigier and his crew of 'designers' thought this would be appropriate:

Yes. It's an Ed Hardy mouse mat for girls. And there's more

Click here to read alllll about it.

Fucking pricks.

Reasons why I want to have a threesome with Shakira:

2009-12-12T23:28:00.000Z

THE END.

(PS. I LOVE BOYS)

Wisdom comes with age and experience...kind of.

2009-12-09T02:33:00.120Z

Recovering from my birthday intoxication has been long and emotional but now I'm over it I thought I'd share some of my twenty something wisdom with you. Plus I need to vent. And anyway, I’ve noticed that amongst all the crap, the irony, the bullshit and the talk of rudeboys and music, my blog has become a bit of a diary.

Airing your personal business to anyone but the people involved in it, isn't the in thing. However, I’ve come to realise that sharing things with potential strangers is actually quite liberating. Especially when it is concerning matters of the heart. I think its because you can be totally honest with a stranger. As they don’t have any preconceptions of you or the people involved, they can see things with an objective mind. The fact that I probably know most of you reading this contradicts what I’m about to do but even so, there’s also that slight satisfying feeling that even if you do talk about personal things, as long as you maintain anonymity, if the people you’re talking about are reading then they will know it’s about them when you praise them, when you slew them and when you generally just want to tell a story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

FYI I’m not talking about indirects here – on the contrary I'm all for honesty and being real with people. You should always tell people exactly how you feel because it’s fair on them and fair on you. I think that “indirecting” (for lack of a better word) after you’ve actually told the person your issue or your praise is acceptable because they already know you think that.

Anyway. A few weeks ago some guy kind of broke my heart. I don’t think he meant to but he did. He broke it into tiny moth shaped pieces. Not only because my adoration and maybe love for him is unrequited (because allow that shit anyway), but mainly because every good thing I thought about him as a friend might have turned out to be a trick my mind played on me and not true at all. Romantic and platonic heartbreak occurring simultaneously is a horrible feeling that is very hard to describe but if I had to try and describe it I’d say it feels like…. I’ll get back to you.

So now, as I bravely embark upon the epic journey of mending my broken heart, so it can be used on someone else, as I try and turn frowns and sighs back into laughs, smiles, as I become what I was pre-heartbreak (REALLY funny and really nice…even more than usual – I promise, ask my mum), I’m noticing how much I’ve actually learned over the past 6 months. And If I’ve learned anything at all, it’s that I’ve learned a number of things (see how funny I am). Oi I feel like Carrie Bradshaw!

Here goes:

1) Anyone is capable of being anything - Good or bad. Never underestimate people you don't really rate and never think that the people you hold highest in your opinion can’t let you down because they can…and they will.

2) Give everyone a chance.

3) Be grateful - Cliché as it sounds, there are always people worse off than you. Moaning and moping around feeling sorry for yourself keeps you in that state of mind, not to mention how utterly unattractive it is. If you don’t like something, change it!

4) Be honest - It might make you vulnerable at times but at least you’re being true to yourself. It might also make people dislike you sometimes, but you should prefer to be disliked for being honest than to be liked for feeding people the lies that make them disillusioned.

5) Don’t believe everything you hear, read or even see - Things always look different under the influence of alcohol, tiredness and infatuation.

6) The people you care about most will make you feel sad sometimes - If they don’t then you don’t care about them enough.

7) Being brave is underestimated – It’s harder than people think but we should be brave in everything we do. Take chances and whatever the outcome have the courage to deal with it accordingly.

8) Never let anyone make you feel inadequate - If you’re not good enough for them, they’re not good enough for you.

9) Expect the unexpected - You could be in for a nice, cross-atlantic surprise. ;)

Finally…the thing I’ve found to be most useful and most influential these past 6 months is a piece of advice comprising of two little words. It began as a silly in joke/pathetic flirtation but it’s the best thing I used to hear on a daily basis (and if you’re reading this, it's not just because your accent is fit :-P ):

10) “Be nice” - If you can do this you can do anything. In a world as corrupt as this one, living in cities where ruthlessness seems to be more admired than kindness (HOLD TIGHT L DUTTY N), it might be a near impossible thing but just do it. Because being nice makes people feel nice and if you can make people feel nice you'll get the nicest feeling you’re ever going to get, in return. Plus karma is a bitch and she will come around and knock you the fuck out. The irony behind this last one........I'll tell you another day.

I guess every cloud really does have a silver lining :)

(And P.S. I’ve also learned how to use Photoshop, Google Analytics and a new party trick but that’s a whole other post).

SO let's end this post on a high note.
My birthday was amazing.
If you weren't there then you missed out.
Here's about 20 of the 200 photos we took:

And if you haven't read it yet got over to Hot110 and read my post about the common cold this christmas...

End of Post.

I'm REALLY shy...

2009-12-06T00:10:00.000Z

HIYA.

2009-12-03T20:12:00.000Z

WHO WANTS TO JOIN ME ON A FREE TRIP ACROSS THE ATLANTIC IN MARCH?

Yes. That's correct.
Apply within.
The person who charms me most will win.
This is going to be fun.

And as for the trip...well..get me...there are no words.

So.

May the best (wo)man win.

So far this guy is losing so don't take tips from him if you want to win ;)

HOLLA!

Twords

2009-11-29T20:33:00.000Z

LOLZ:

"doing basically suck"

"london people"

"nice football alot"

"shakira"

"gays pandering"

"fucking happy dick"

"babez"

"hiya"

"apparently greek"

"love"

WHY THE FUCK IS THE WORD "ARSENAL" IN MY FUCKING TWEET CLOUD?

*very angry-face*

GOOGLE WAVE...

2009-11-28T20:52:00.000Z

...is the in thing.
If you're not on it by the end of the month we can no longer be friends.
Google Wave me.
Big up Antony.
Laters.

Remember Remember the 6th of December Part 2: The word "SMOG" is Nang.

2009-11-28T20:32:00.002Z

December 6th, 1962 :
A thick layer of smog covered London causing the death of 90 people for three days was spread across the country. Due to the high concentration of sulfur dioxide in the smog the Ministry of Health advised those who were vulnerable to stay indoors or make "do-it-yourself masks" such as thick cotton gauze or a scarf around the mouth and nose.

I hope a thick layer of smog doesn't appear this year.

Smog is a nang word - and I never say nang.

Remember Remember the 6th of December

2009-11-27T10:15:00.001Z

Fact 1 about the 6th of December:

It's the day I was born.

It's the day of my fucking birthday!!

Waheeeeeeyyyyy!

I used to go private school and look like this:

Then I discovered grime music and shit like this began to happen:

Anyway HIYA.

Fact 2 about the 6th of December coming up tomorrow.

Not A Hater

2009-11-22T22:52:00.001Z

This is HOT:

Beyoncé would get it. Ironic really since Gaga is the one with a dick.
(Lol - I actually laughed at myself when I wrote that).

Also whilst I'm here can I just say...
Last week when my lover Shakira was on Waste-Factor someone tweeted saying "Shakira is just a white version of Beyoncé". This isn't an indirect - I actually can't remember who it was before people start getting emotional. Firstly I find the 'just' quite condescending but whatever that's another story.

Basically that's the biggest load of shit I ever heard. For starters, no par but I swear each time I see Beyoncé her hair and skin get lighter and lighter? And secondly as far as the moves go Shakira is Colombian and Lebanese or something - it's in her DNA to dance like that. Also Lebanon is next to Cyprus and us lot jam to the same songs and trust me - we invented moving your body like a snake. And anyway it's not a competition. Besides Beyoncé wins on the voice by ten billion million miles so allow the comparison.

So basically - Beyoncé is fit, Shakira is fit but don't chat to me about comparing them because overall, Shaks>>>>>

LAAAARD 'A MERRRCYYYYYYYY!

FUCKING

HOMO.

I PROMISE!!

LOOK WHO I DREAMT OF LAST NIGHT:

Hiya Lucas from One Tree Hill!

My ancestors>Yours.

2009-11-22T22:02:00.001Z

I read both of my dissertations the other day. 32,000 words where I don't say 'fuck' or 'init' or 'rudeboy' or 'allow it'. 32,000 words of 4 years of learning. 32,000 words that potentially someone else could learn from. I know I did when I re-read them the other day. I re-learned. Learning>>>>>

So for my BA dissertation, I wrote a modern adaptation of this ancient Greek tragedy called Medea by Euripides. I reccomend you read it - it's got everything you want from life in it - from love to gory dismembering of innocent young people. Nice.

For the commentary part of my work I looked to the theories of the ancient philosophers, my ancestors if you will, as support for what I was trying to do/say. I wrote this amazing essay about how really, they had life figured out back in the BC times and we don't know any more about it now, than they did back then. Science might be at it's pinnacle, money might be crucial to our existence but when it comes to life, if anything we know less because we've been bogged down in capitalistic materialism. (Amongst other things about how women are fucking brilliant (NO HOMO) and how the world would be a better place if we ruled (NO HOMO) but OBVIOUSLY in a 1st Class Honors kind of way).

So yeh. Nowadays everything has lost it's innocence, we take everything for granted and our lives have amounted to nothing more than 140 characters. We forget that there's actually more to life than money, sex and the internet. It's a shame. So lately I've been reading passages and quotes from text books and the internet looking at what these people, my ancestors, the ones whose lives were tainted by post BC bullshit and I was like "Rahhhh boy....these lot had bars for weeks blad..."

Plato
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

"One man cannot practice many arts with success."

"I never did anything worth doing by accident, nor did any of my inventions come by accident; they came by work."

"People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die."

"Love is a serious mental disease."

Socrates
"Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for."

"Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live."

"The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be."

Aristotle
"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsions, habit, reason, passion, desire."

"A friend to all is a friend to none."

"Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

"Most people would rather give than get affection."

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

It's quite clear that the my bloodline traces back to these people right...?!
Imagine if these lot had twitter in their day.
BARE RTs.

Men in raves are weird.

2009-11-22T21:04:00.001Z

I love men. No hoe-tho.

BUT what actually happens to their lives when they go to raves? It's like as soon as the cologne gets into their pores they ooze this sickly, cringey, imgonnatryitonwitheveryoneandseeificangetsometonight demeanor that makes most normal girls want to die.

They try and have "Swagger" and if you know me then you know, that I for one, prefer my men completely "Swagger" free. If you say shit like "My swagger iz 'ard" and "Got my swag on tonight boiii" - then you may as well shoot me in the ear instead because that would feel less painful than hearing you say that. Also like yeh, granted, raves are a good 'pulling zone' but the men that actually go out to raves to pick up girls more than to listen to music and have a skank really need to go home Roger.

These men that go out to pull seem to fall into one of three categories.

Type A: The "Confident" One

How to recognise him:
Ironically he is usually the butterz one out of his friends. He likes to dance loads and he probably has no rhythm. He will try it on with any and every girl that might pass his way - either by forcefully grabbing her arm as she walks past and trying to drag her to him or by harrassing her very existence. He will shamelessly say cringeworthy things because frankly....man is confident get me. He will probably be wearing more jewelry than most of the girls in the club and might be carrying a bottle of champagne not for drinking though - instead he will be spilling it on the floor to show us girls that he's baaaaallllin, champers ain't a thing to him, he is a BAIDERS because his face is so brukkkkkk he probably thinks he might attract us with 'his P'.

Bars:
"So you gonna give me your number then" - as an OPENING line.
"You having a good night yeh? Let me make it even better for you..."

Anything from this book:

He won't take no for an answer either. Them headache guys there.

Type B: The Relatively Normal One

How to recognise him:
He is relatively normal init. He's probably every single guy that doesn't fall into any of the other two categories. The way he looks and acts and doens't make you want to jump off the balcony in the club to get away from him.

Bars:
He might a bit shy but when he strikes up a conversation he will carry it. It will only be remotely vomit-inducing and maybe even not at all. You might even end up actually having a good conversation. When he proceeds to ask for your number if you give it him then safe init but if you don't he will just be normal and tell you to enjoy the rest of your night.

Type C: The CUNT

How to recognise him:
He's a cunt. This guy can be on any part of the spectrum - from really butterz to really sexy and anything in between. He will spend most of his time with his group of male friends and when he clocks a girl he likes he will proceed to make himself the centre of attention. Usually if he's a fit cunt then it will work wonders for him. He thinks he's too nice - but not in the same way 'The Confident' one does (the confident one knows deep down that he is making up for being a butterz ball of repulsive 'swagger') - moreso in a way where he ACTUALLY thinks he's the best thing since Collie Buddz. Oh please.

Bars:
He probably won't have any 'bars' as such but he will find a point to chat to you. If he's a cunty cunt and you're like "Safe, I'm not interested now let me go back to my friends" then he might be like "You ain't that nice anyway" - the ultimate self-par that guys do because it's like, welllll you know, you weren't saying that for the past hour when you were trying to get my attention and begging for my number so bite me.
HOWEVER if that arrogant cunty shit entices you and if he actually manages to charm you then you're basically screwed. The cunt, is the guy that you kind of think you might like one day, but the minute you yield to this, you have a whole lot of cunty things to look forward to with him from then on.

SO ladies, the moral of the story is this...allow everyone that tries it on in raves - even the normal ones because let's face it, they've probably got webbed feet or something anyway. Just stick to those rudeboys that smell of weed and chicken and that hang around outside Kurdish supermarkets on bikes with dogs. Because at least they openly show what wastemen they are instead of trying to cover it up with CK1, real fake diamonds and worst of all "Swagger".

Alternatively be like me and fall in love with your male friends. It's great whilst it's happening but if (and when) it becomes a par then your life as you know it will wane into a state of irrepressible hysteria. Insane is the new sane, didn't you know?

ABCDEFG

2009-11-17T22:53:00.000Z

Imagine what your child would turn out like if you taught them the alphabet using this song:

I say 'LIKE' too much.

2009-11-16T00:03:00.000Z

HIYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Me and Sian went on Bang Radio on Saturday.

Fun Times!

Big up Tahirah :)

Click HERE to go and download it. It's REALLY funny. Good luck to the Sparkle girls that have to follow us cos we went in.

Observations:
Yeh so apparently I like to say 'like' TOO MUCH, I was nervous and I chat shit when I'm nervous, I don't really like rudeboys with vicious dogs - I was being ironic, I'm actually scared of dogs, I don't like rum or whisky but I chose rum because this boy I know LOVES rum so I'd take the rum and give it to him :)

Also if at any point you might perceive me as an air head let me remind you that I have a Masters which means I'm bare clever and intellectual. Ask my mum and dad. Or this girl - they'll tell you.

IN OTHER NEWS:

Also whilst I'm here big up the best grime blog in the whole world

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUTTERZ :)

Go and download the birthday mix (like birthday sex but different), read all the new stuff and watch the videos. They're going in.

IN OTHER OTHER NEWS:

Big up Marianna on her Birthday xx

We had a GREAT night. Look at my eyes - FUCKED.

BARE BIRTHDAYS - it's mine in 3 weeks - eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

Kieran Shakieran Yates

2009-11-15T10:56:00.001Z

My new girlfriend Kieran (no homo) went on a date last week and we came to the conclusion that we're pretty fucking great...and share many of the same life philosophies and are both like...really nice. But actually. Like not even bitches. It's refreshing init! :)

We discussed the fact that we lived 30 mins from each other for like 4 years, how much we love our families, how there are no guys left and that fancying your friends is a big fat par, I told her about my love for Ancient Greek theatre and she told me about her love for 18th Century literature, we spoke about the poetic structure of grime music and I told her about how much I love Bollywood films which I think she kind of loved, we spoke about how fit Shakira is and how amazing it is to be the Greek/Indian versions of her and finally we're gonna find a bashment club to go to cos we like to wiiiiiiine....BASICALLY.

Overall it's safe to say that if I was a lesbian I would totals make a move on her.

In celebration, Kieran is gonna lend me a Sari then teach me these dances:

Then we're gonna re-make these videos:

Good times ahead.

Check out her blog and her words at http://www.kieranyates.blogspot.com/.

Rinse and FaaaarrrrWaaaaarD>> Twentieth of November Two Thousand and Get Me

2009-11-12T21:41:00.000Z

One week to go!

If you claim to like Grime, Funky and Dubstep,

AND

if you're in London, England on Friday 20th November 2009

AND

you don't go here:

then you may as well go and play in the Thames.

Have a nice day :)

HIYA BABEZ - imitation is the finest form of flattery :)

2009-11-12T00:52:00.001Z

My favorite bit is "getting a bit up yourself" - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
I'm probably the least 'up yourself' person you will ever meet.
(But don't take the piss just cos I'm kind cos get me...the Greeks invented pars so don't watch when Uncle Zeus gets thunderbolt happy).

My other favorite bit is the whole rest of it.
Maybe it's sarcastic? Who knows?! But whatever.
All I know is that yeh...basically what 'Princess Aurora' said^^^ is true. BASICALLY.
I'm not even gonna add to it.

It's ironic really because over the past week I had this very conversation with a number of people before this comment got posted.

Anyway.
Big up the bar stealers, personality thieves, the indirectors and the people who are big on the Twitter scene like Johnathan Ross. WICKED!!!

For now I prefer my humble life minus alla dat :)

Today me and my friend went and got Krispy Kremes and had the best chats EVER then I went to my cousins and ate Mexican food.

It was good.

I'm never gonna be like Kate Moss though.

Oh well.

Oh yeh and to everyone who Tweeted and DM'd me asking where I am - I'm here init :)
Look: hiiiiiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, it's me, Louks!!!!
If you want to talk to me then by all means tweet and DM me but if you wanna mix things up a bit(/get a response) then you can use:
Email (to the right to the right ----->),
Facebook (request me - I might deny you or leave you in limbo with the rest but either way I don't bite...unless you're lucky),
AIM (ask for it),
iPhone number (hahahaha AS IF I'd post that - NO CHANCE),
maybe even your mouth if you see me!
Now that you know, you can contact me using more than 140 characters. Lucky you!

Anyway.
Keep pandering people.
Big up Elijah ;)
Big up drinking wine on my lunch break.
Big up my Jamaican wining partner, Winston.
Big up never being able to be a size 0.
Big up Carnaby Street 20% off tomorrow.
Big up the iPhone crew.
Big up yourself.
Big up my mum.
Big your mum.
Big up everyone's mum.
Except the queen's mum.
R.I.P.

Just saying init.

Ps. This is the funniest joke I've ever heard. EVER:

Q: Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

AAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

OI I'M DYING!

AAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Marianna's got bars

2009-11-10T23:12:00.000Z

Meet my cousin Marianna:

(I know, I know... what can I say, we're a good looking familia)

Three things you should know about Mazzy:

1) She won't talk to you if she doesn't know you unless you're well nice.

2) She also won't talk to you if she doesn't like your shoes.

3) She also won't talk to you if you're a par to the people she loves.

It's her birthday this weekend so if you're around East London on Saturday night you might just see a big bunch of us paving the streets because we're gonna be drinking vintage champers, amaretto and rum cocktails beforehand.

So anyway the point of my story is this, I was just on the phone to her and she goes:

"Them lot put the "TWIT" in twitter"

THE 'TWIT' IN TWITTER YOU KNOW!

GENIUS.

Hiya Maz - let's say some more really funny things so that everyone can hijack our personalities :D

Random shit from the Interwebtings that caught my eye...

2009-11-09T21:57:00.001Z

An advert off Facebook:

So the pricks over at Facebook are suggesting that because I'm a girl in my twenties I want a pink phone? PINK? Fucking sexist bastards. I hate pink things. Except pink nail varnish.
*
*
*

The Kenco slogan/the life that many people lead:

Don't live life in the waste lane...
*
*
*

Almost my sister's name:

My sisters name is Eleni.
*
*
*

Twitter jargon:

Basically sounds like and STD.
*
*
*

Clones:

Oh well :)
*
*
*

The fuel of the internet:

It's fucking everywhere. Yuck.

Have a nice day :)

A Short Story.

2009-11-08T21:41:00.004Z

I went away from London this weekend on a mini adventure.
It was the best weekend I've had in a few weeks.
I'm not gonna tell you anything about it but I'm gonna tell you one thing.
If I invited you to join me and you said no then just know that you missed out.
If I invited you and you said yes, well, then...you know :)

Anyway.

So I got on the tube today to return from central London to North London and it was so fucking rammed I almost died. I didn't even need to hold onto the bar things cos I was being propped up by everyone around me.

As I stood there with my case and my bag minding my own business listening to bashment (and getting a bit hot under the collar...in both ways), I'm pretty certain I was violated by a Jamaican silver fox. SERIOUS. All of a sudden out of nowhere this old man, old enough to be my fucking gramps starts pressing up against me from behind. Initially I allowed him because it was fucking rammed so I was like he can't help it. Until all of a sudden I was like SHIT! this man is actually moving to the rhythm - and it's not like I could even do anything about it because there was nowhere I could go. So I was like what the actual fuck am I gonna do. It came to the point where I think he was about to start grindin me down to the floor. I was like ok...he can hear the music coming out of my earphones so I turned the volume down (even though it wasn't loud anyway but he was so close to me he may as well have had them in his ears) and kind of tried to shift myself out of the way a bit.

ALAS!

OBVIOUSLY my man thought that was his cue to follow my movements and stay all up in my grill. SO for about 5 stops I was grinding with a 60 year old Jamaican man on the Piccadilly line until FINALLY he fucked off and I got a seat. He even winked at me as he got off.

Now had this been a rudeboy it would've been a whole other story.

It got me thinking really - if you're a pervert man then you can pretty much get your kicks and get away with it by getting on the tube at rush hour and grinding on random girls. Especially if they're vybzin to vybz.

Basically that.

Ps. J'adore stiiiiilllll. :)

iPhone Crew

2009-11-05T23:46:00.000Z

This is sick:

I REALLY want one.

NOW.

Thanks :)

I fancy everyone and I'm always horny

2009-11-05T23:41:00.000Z

According to wikipedia I fancy everyone and I'm always horny:

Now regardless of whether this is true or not, the point is you cant make sweeping judgements about people's actions like that.

I exaggerate my gestures because I'm extra and I used to want to be a actress. I mirror people's mannerisms when I like them or their face. I cross my legs and point my knee cos it's comfy and that's what girls are meant to do. My wrists always show because long sleeves irritate me. My hair is down to my waist so I'm always tilting my head then touching my hair or tossing it around in people's faces. I always adjust my clothes (mainly because they're squeezing me in all the wrong places). I laugh and I smile all the time - sometimes even when I don't want to (like if someone is annoying me but cos I like them I smile). I touch people when I talk to them because that's what Meds do and also I just like touching. Eye contact is actually the best thing ever and because my eyes are light green my pupil dilation is very obvious. And even if I do fancy you and even if I do wanna play scrabble with you, if everything you do makes my fucking pupils dilate, that's your fault not mine. So there.

Wikipedia SUCK OUT.

Being Nice :)

2009-11-04T23:53:00.001Z

Today I got the worst hug ever.
But then it went a bit good so it was ok after.
Crappest hugs ever #fidead.

10 reasons why autumn/winter is better than summer

2009-11-03T22:20:00.001Z

1) Socks.

2) Woolly hats. (Or if you're me, Russian hats).

3) Gloves.

4) Coats.

5) Scarves.

6) TIGHTS!!

7) Thighscrapers.

8) An excuse to stay in and host dinner parties instead of going out and wasting money/time/your life.

9) An excuse to touch people up in an attempt to "stay warm" by using each other's body heat.

10) The season of my birth.

Oh Gosh

2009-11-03T22:16:00.001Z

HIYA Frisco. HIYA.

HIYA :)

2009-11-02T23:53:00.002Z

Did you know that 'debriefing' means going to a meeting.
But I reckon if you said it in a bedroom instead of a work place it would mean something else.
Anyway.

HIYA :)

I'm back. Like back back. Back in London. The place where people have the best accents. The place where the queen lives. The place where it's acceptable to screwface people you don't know on the train. The place where boys say shit like "still" and "get me".

*sighs*

I'm here for the foreseeable future. AGAIN. I made my return exactly one week ago and whilst I wait for my humble abode to be refurbished and refurnished I'm jammin with everybody. I think I'm glad to be back. Mainly because the nomadic lifestyle and all the back and forth from the Midlands is finally over. It was getting tiring you know. I would love National fucking Rail to reimburse me for all the money I have given them over the past 8 months. Maybe I'll write them a firm but friendly letter filled with indirect threats. Maybe. But yeh.

I work in an office in the city apparently - how fucking trendy am I? I go on lunch and to meetings and everything. It's really different than sitting in your pants all day writing about rudeboys and grime and staying up till 4am finishing your freelance and having bad for the soul iChats with lovers and haters. I haven't decided which I prefer yet but time will tell.

London hasn't changed much. Except TFL seems to get worse and worse as time goes by. I also wish all the suicidal pricks would make use of the Thames instead of jumping in front of trains and fucking up everyone's journeys. Selfish pricks. There's a perfectly deep and cold enough river for them to go and jump in to end their miserable existence so why must they abuse the underground like that?

Also I remember why this place is so live - there's something to do every night. Last week I only stayed in on Monday night. And I drank alcohol every night from Wednesday to Sunday which is unusual for me.

It's nice so far. Except I miss my sisters.

Hi Eleni :)

Hi Skevi :)

So yeh. This week I've learned lots of new things. Also lots of things I already knew were reconfirmed.

Did you know that:

1) In offices people actually do work. Can you believe it? They actually do stuff. Like I always thought they just sat around drinking cups of tea, eating biscuits, having banter and going on lunch to them bars filled with city people that think they're boom when really they're not.

2) I'm a MASSIVE lightweight. (Obviously not physically - I mean where a-a-a-a-a-alcohol is concerned).

3) In London everybody wants to be a somebody which is great because it means they have something to work for. The problem is that a lot of nobodies think they're a somebody and unfortunately this is just embarrassing. Be who you are and be happy. And if you're not happy then get happy. Most things are trivial anyway.

4) Eat. is better that Pret and Pret is severley overrated. And overpriced.

5) Because boys have a penis, apparently it means they are allowed to forget things, be indecisive and be complete head fucks.

6) Wine is the worst drink ever. But actually.

7) This week, about five thousand people I didn't know/recognise (not because I'm an ignorant bitch but because I forget to look at people's profile pictures etc.), saw me out and came came and said hi which was well nice :) When I responded with my usual "Hiiiiiiyaaaaa! You ok? what you doin?" Their response was "OH MY GOSH THAAAAT'S HOW YOU TALK?!" It was really funny - all five thousand times as well. They proceeded to tell my my accent is sick. I don't believe them but I will take the compliment.

8) Trying to be strong and brave is very hard. Especially when under the influence of tiredness and unjustified infatuation. Allow it.

9)London is full of fakes. Fake hair, fake nails, fake tan, fake designer bags but most of all FAKE PEOPLE. It's a shame for their lives. They must not know about karma yet.

10) Finally: You cannot trust ANYBODY. People are only nice to you when they want something from you and or if they think you have some kind of status or can gain something from you. Don't be fooled by people loving you off because it's quite likely that the minute you turn your back they will slag you off to their other "friends". I've witnessed enough bitchy behavior this week to tide me over until Christmas. And because I'm nice I don't understand it. Oh Well.

So yeh. Basically I'm in London. If you see me around then come over and say hi. I'm really nice. And before you ask, yes! that's how I talk :)

In case you didn't get the memo: they're going in

2009-11-02T23:50:00.000Z

What I love most about Boy Better Know videos (besides for the obvious things like Jammer's face expressions, the 2 Aarons and OBVIOUSLY Frisco) is that they literally look like they are having THE BEST TIME OF THEIR FUCKING LIVES.

It's quite refreshing really. What with all the emotional bollocks about being hard, fucking people up and generally being moody we're accustomed to (because being happy is uncool apparently).

Ami Baby.

2009-10-31T11:13:00.001Z

Nah but you can tattoo my special place with your 'needle' any day :)

PAUSE

2009-10-29T23:46:00.000Z

A man that can piss me off and make me laugh in the same sentence = <3

Anyway I've got an epic blog planned for this weekend - it talks about the working world, hot sauce, boys, tiredness, Barry White, nose piercings, DJs, Carlos Santana, why nobody should ever go Uni and why everyone should stop trying to be a musician, DJ or journalist when they're really shit.

Keep it locked.

KISS x

Bring Back 90s RnB Part 3

2009-10-24T22:26:00.000+01:00

BIG TUNE.

The Awesome Foursome

2009-10-20T15:26:00.001+01:00

Dubbed by none other than Simon Cowell as "The best thing to come from Twitter since the PTC and sliced bread," allow me to introduce you to:
The Awesome Foursome.
A multi-racial group of good badgirls.
We're like the girl version of JLS except talented, less emotional, not gay and a bit fit.

Loukia

Greek, Writer, Goddess, Lover and aspiring Grime MC.

Sian

St. Lucian, Writer, Model, Nando's ambassador, the baby of the group.

Yasmin

Half Iranian, DJ, plays 90's rnb bangers, moving to Atlanta to marry someone that calls her "Shawty", loves public transport adventures.

Erin

Irish and Liberian, marketer, spends all day on twitter, LOVES cocky, says things like "Fat Hev is getting laid. God knows how they found her pum. I wonder if they covered her in talc and fucked the damp patch?!"

The four rules of the awesome foursome:
1) Leggings are mandatory at all times.
2) We must meet up for drinks at least once a week. (Or arrange to and then flop each other. As long as the sentiment is there we're good to go).
3) We will NEVER let a man/rudeboy come between us unless it's T.I or Griminal and we're engaging in a FANTASTIC FIVESOME ;)
4) I can't think of a fourth one so you lot make it up.

Between us we offer an array of GREAT services.
To book us for your wedding, christening, bar mitzvah, super sweet sixteen, celebration of life, dial:
0800-AWE-SOME-FOUR-SOME.
We accept payment in CASH, oreo milkshakes, red velvet cake and compliments.

P E A C E

Since you went away you became not so solid.

2009-10-19T21:46:00.000+01:00

So apparently So solid are back. Take a look:
Yeh so it allllrrrrriiiiiiigggghhhhhhhttttttt. Maybe it's a grower.

Blah Blah Blah.

Anyway HIYA SO SOLID!

YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOOD PRUDES

2009-10-19T21:40:00.000+01:00

I LOVE my English countraaaayyyyside friends. They dance to S Club 7 at weddings, they think that because they like "Wearing My Rolex" they are "well into grime" and they are all beautifully blonde and say things like "yah". What I love most though is the fact that they eat stuff like steak and ale pie and think it's the tastiest thing ever!

I also remember when I was little and my mum would pack keftedes, halloumi pittas, a whole chargrilled lamb with feta salad and dips etc. in my lunchbox and my friends would have white bread ham sandwiches with no crusts. They'd be like "Loukiaaaaa what's that brown thing in your lunchbox?" and I'd go all shy and be like "Um it's a ham sandwich but it got burnt" or something like that. Where food is concerned I actually have loads of questions to ask my English friends so I thought I'd blog them. Here goes:

Dear English friends,

1) Why do you eat such BLAND food like gravy and pies and pretend to like it when it's blates doing nothing for your tastebuds?

2) Why do you go to Nando's and order lemon and herb flavour chicken?

3) Why do you think that lemon is only good for lemonade and don't realise it's true potential and the fact that it goes with 85% of things? (For Eleni, Marianna and Stefania)

4) Why do you go for a curry and eat "masaala" which basically tastes like milkshake?

5) Why do you eat things from Greggs "the bakers" when it's all grey/beige and tastes like salty cardboard?

6) Why do you eat mushy peas? THEY ARE PEAS THAT HAVE BEEN MASHED UP!!

7) Why do you LOVE OFF garlic bread and order it with everything? It's just bread and butter with garlic scraped on it.

8) Why do you go to restaurants where they serve "ethnic" food and try and put an accent on when you order your meal?

9) Why are you SCARED of food and too shy to get stuck in? It's not gonna eat you - that's YOUR job!! Table manners is one thing, allow being a food prude!

and finally

10) When are you going to learn that Tomato Ketchup is not a sauce - it's just a thick, red, liquid form of sugar and actually contains no tomatoes?

Answers on a post card.

I love you.

Thank you for letting me live in your country xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bring Back 90s RnB Part 2

2009-10-19T00:19:00.000+01:00

What they said.
BASICALLY.

Bring Back 90s RnB Part 1

2009-10-18T01:51:00.002+01:00

Basically THAT.

FREELOAD: JJ's House and Tribal mix October '09.

2009-10-18T01:47:00.000+01:00

YO!
You like free music yeh?
SAFE.
Well,
Click here to go and download a free house and tribal mix by my friend JJ.
For those who don't know who JJ is - he's basically a rudeboy/badman DJ from East London who plays music on Rinse FM.
*SWOOOOOOOOOON*
Apparently he will be dropping a new mix of the freshest tribal beats and funky rhythms every month FOR FREEEEE so go get this one and then get excited for the ones to follow.
Catch JJ on Rinse FM on Sunday nights from 1am playing the very best in house, grime, garage, funky and everything in between.
PEACE.
x

Bad Intentions

2009-10-15T22:13:00.000+01:00

So I started this blog a little bit like this:

Presented by the infamous Dj Yasmin from Twitter, Bad Intentions is a new weekly night which launches on Sunday 1st of November and will occur every Sunday thereafter. It promises to bring us some of the finest....BLAH BLAH BLAH.....

And then I realised I'm not writing a fucking press release so here we go babez:

OI FUCKERS!
Are you dizzy? It's a free party - there's gonna be a a a a a alcohol a-flowing, good looking people griiiiindin' and I anticipate regular attendance from the PTC so if that's not reason enough for you to come then I don't know what is really. That and the fact that 90s RnB will be blaring out of the soundsystem and Yasmin will definitely be playing this banger:

I intend on being very bad on the night so the name is very apt. BAAAAASICALLY, be there or be.....at home regretting your life to be honest.

SEEEEEYYYYYAAAAA x

Kiss Kiss

2009-10-13T23:21:00.000+01:00

So BASICALLY this:

I'm Greek blah blah blah.
I'm Mediterranean blah blah blah.
I'm European blah blah blah.

Dear English and Non-European friends,

When us CARAMAC-OLIVES see our friends we don't just give a hug, we don't just give a hug and a kiss on the cheek, we give a hug and a kiss on BOTH cheeks. Not in a pretentious prick way - in a friendly way. So next time I see you in a fucking restaurant or bar or on road, be prepared that I'm gonna kiss you on both cheeks. That's just how we do. So don't be frigid and leave my second kiss hanging because it's very awkward.

Love Loukia x

SUPER SUPER Issue 18

2009-10-13T14:18:00.001+01:00

I done did these:

Super Super Issue 18 available NOW!!!

Go and get your copy from WHSmith or Borders or summink and read my words and love them and read everyone elses too.

And whilst you're there buy me an Orange Calypso and a bag of Mint Aero bubbles and bring them to me pronto.

Love you.x

Lipsin Ting

2009-10-09T19:13:00.002+01:00

Scorcher would get it repeatedly on a daily basis.
BASICALLY.

Frisco - Darkside

2009-10-08T23:31:00.000+01:00

This is SO fit I might cry.
Basically.

Go Down.....load these mixes.

2009-10-08T20:49:00.001+01:00

Hiya Blog.

It's been a while.

It's especially been a while since I put some mixes I love off for you lot to download on here.

Not mixes by me. Not yet anyway. I haven't practised DJing for a while but I finally have an alias thanks to my friend who called me "Loukialot" the other day. LOUKIALOT. It's alot!

But anyway.

The thing is I'm late.

Because by now you've probably got these.

But if you haven't then safe(ty pins) you can download them now.

Firstly go and download this little mix by Skilliam and Elijah. You know, them two BUTTERZ DJs who I interviewed back in August :

24 Hours In The Life - Butterz - 15 minutes of Grime sex for your ears.

OBVIOUSLY you all know Smutlee is one of my FAAAAAVE DJs and the creator of some of my absolute bestest (wine) mixes so go and download THIS sexual little number he put together for Fabric's birthday celebrations next weekend (it's the actual fucking best thing I've downloaded in a while):

Fabric 10th Birthday Promo Mix - Smutlee.

Nah but how can you from Movado and Busy Signal into Egypt?! You're the actual best Smutlee. Badboy Smutlee. All you so-called DJs need to get some tips blad.

They are ALOT. Almost alot like Loukialot.

Here's a picture as well for those who got bored of looking at just words. I got this for my 5th Birthday:

Imagine my skills now.

I'm going to make an excellent wife one day.

Just saying.

Ctrl.Alt.Shift Short Film Presentation and Party

2009-10-05T12:43:00.000+01:00

Reasons to go:

A) It's for a good cause and you might just learn something too.

B) Free bar and music...ARE YOU MAD!

C) Me and Sian will probably be wearing 45 inch heels. (Well actually, probably not. Save them bad boys killerrr heels for Rinse/FWD>> raves at Matter - cos THAT makes sense!)

SEE YOU THERE!

"I 'shagged' him cos he broke my bracelet. Not my fault."

2009-09-30T17:19:00.000+01:00

If there's one thing I love about The Sun newspaper, its the informative double page spreads they have about deep and meaningful things like... erm... SHAG BANDS. Yesterday was such a day. As any of you 90's children like myself will know, shag bands used to be the absolute IN THING and apparently they're making, or have already made a comeback. Yesterdays article was about an 8 year old girl whose mother was distraught to find out what her daughters tacky bracelets meant. Nah but are you serious? 8-YEARS-OLD? That's terrible! When I was eight I thought accidentally bumping into a boy at playtime was gross let alone wearing shag bands! Read the full article here.

But anyway the one thing I've realised about the shag band code is that it's all to benefit men - HE gets the hug, HE gets the lapdance and HE gets the love bite. SELFISH WANKERS! WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? A girl's got needs too. I have a solution though, OBVS. Since there are no GREEN shag bands and green is my favorite color I'm bringing that one in. Green will mean the girl gets a love bite, the girl gets a lapdance and the boy gets to, erm...yam doe. I'm just saying. If she has to blow some tunes when he breaks a blue band, then it's only fair that he goes daaaaan saaaaafffff tooo. Fair is fair!

So I was thinking: all the single ladies unite and let us bring shag bands back. Especially since we're not minors anymore. Now I'm not trying to promote casual sex with random people, (especially since I'm in the good girl crew and only give my heart/special place to one boy at a time) but I really want there to be a day where one of my friends comes up to me and says "Allow it. I had sex with him cos he broke my black shag band. Not my fault." And then I can DIE of laughter.

So let's do it. Bring back shag bands. It will be fun - guys can chase us around town or around clubs and then "accidentally" break the shag bands off our wrists and away we go. At least then some of you slags will have an excuse for why you fuck around with different guys each weekend. I guess the one good thing is that it avoids all that awkward ooh I quite fancy you, shall we do it shall we not bullshit. After all, once the crappy plastic/rubber bracelet is broken, you have no choice but to do what the shag band law states or DIE.

Maybe I should've posted this on Camelhoof. Oh well. Anyway I'm going Claire's accessories. Next time you'll see me I'll be shag banded up.

Q: What does Tek Buddy mean? A: Why don't you ask Vybz Kartel.

2009-09-28T21:39:00.005+01:00

So when I first heard this last month I had it on repeat for at least 2 hours and stood in front of my mirrored wardrobes, dancing around in my pants, planning my grinding and wining moves to take place in the crotch of some skankers rudeboy in a club. (Sorry Anonymous you might get the wrong impression again babez).

Lil Silva + kindofvintage Vybz Kartel = Hiya babez come funkydagger me into tomorrow!

Obviously I adore this. Because y'know:
I heart Funky (Rinse10 mixed by Marcus Nasty is the sole thing I'm looking forward to right now) and it has always been my dream to win the Cyprus Annual Dancehall Queen Jump Off (this contest doesn't actually exist but if it did I would totals win).

Me and my friends recently had a "Would you sleep with Vybz Kartel?" converstaion. Naturally I responded with the only possible answer - "Eeeeeeeeeeeek! I don't think I'd have a choice. I'd be too scurred not to."

Anyway for future reference, basically if you don't like Bashment I suggest you don't tell Sian cos she'll tell Kartel and probably Busy Signal on you. No hype. She knows them. Then you'll be banned from all forms of daggering and in turn your life will be pointless.

P.s. Obviously I know what "Tek Buddy" means. It means the same as "Tek Cocky" and "Buddy inna pum pum". My patois tutor told me. I teach him curses in Greek and he explains bashment songs to me. He also taught me "Bumbabludclartrassclartpussyole" but I don't know what that means.

I like you.

2009-09-27T21:20:00.006+01:00

Hubby Number 1:

Hubby Number 2:

My new Leggings:

My bargain purchase from Milan. €14 for a giant Amaretto = WIN:

I don't like the smell of this but it's my new fave perfume simply for it's name. PAR amour. It IS a par. Clarins knows man.

A gift from a baller. It's right twice a day:

Rolex who? Longines what? It's a Swizzles flex fam.

*sigh*

Dear all of the above,
I like you.

Love, Loukia x
(one of them posts that reminds me of what's good as I get fucked by my work and my 2nd attempt at avoiding everything BAD :) )

Thigh Redeeming for Neyull

2009-09-27T09:27:00.006+01:00

I'm sorry Neyull . I'm sorry you read my Milan post to the end and it left you dissatisfied as I forgot to redeem my obese looking thighs. This post is dedicated to you.

Here we go:
(you best like them)

I'm not sure if they're redeemed but whatever. Now if you're one of these people into bones then obviously they are a par for you. They are still meatier than the average but you know what? That's how Zeus made me, I can live with a bit of cushioning.

And anyway.... Ummm..... SHOCK ABSORBANCE init ;)

Hope you're happy now Neyull.

Love Loukia x

Shakira Girl Crush

2009-09-26T19:59:00.000+01:00

I basically want to be Shakira. If you know me then you probably already know this about me. When I grow up I want to be the brunette version of her. My new alias: "Loukira".

This song is shit but I LOVE it and she looks amazing:

HIYA! How can she be SO fit though?

Basically she's my dream threesome girl.

Me, Shakira and Collie Buddz or T.I - it's alot.

NO HOMO.

(cockyalldayeveryday)

Milan - Yo rudeboy stai andando a sbattere Doe?

2009-09-26T18:30:00.000+01:00

Yeh ^^^THAT's^^^ how you say "Yo rudeboy are you gonna band doe?" in Italian. My half Italian friend Jon told me.

So basically I went Milan. For 2 days. One night. Two days. I went for work. I basically went to the launch of this fashion phone. It was launched on the first day of Milan Fahsion week. It was an all expenses paid trip. I stayed in a 5 star hotel, all my food and drink was paid for. I went to a conference thing and then to a party where the wine, Peroni and amaretto were in full flow. It was a lot. You should've come.

If you're into concrete jungle type places then Milano is you. There is literally nothing to look at apart from buildings, nothing green apart from the garnish in your food and nothing wet apart from...the water. It is one of those places like Athens - BARE buildings. Also if you're into spending thousands on designer clothes then you would DIE. So you know how in London, every one hundred yards we have a Pret and a Starbucks yeh? Well in Milan, every FIFTY yards there is a D&G shop, or an Armani shop, or a Gucci shop - you get the point. I'm basically never going back there unless I'm a millionaire because it's really only good for shopping. When I'm a famous GreekGoddessMCDancehallartistWriter and I've got money coming out of my eyelids then I'll go back and buy EVERYTHING.

Highlights of the trip:
-Everyone thought I was Italian which means a)I really am an olive and b)Italian people are FIT so that was a compliment. Also everyone kept speaking in Italian to me so I just nodded and laughed and made up my own version of the language in response. WIN.
-Pistachio Gelato - Oh my fucking days. Ice-cream is my 3rd favourite thing EVER. It's a shame there was noone around to play the ice-cream game with me because the Italian version of it would've been the best.
-The Italian hunk with the green eyes serving drinks.
-The mini-bar which I didn't have to pay for.
-The noiiiice weather.
-Erm, yeh basically everything.

Here's some photos - I didn't take many because I had NO time.

Waiting for the cab to collect me and take me to Heathrow checking my fucking bullshit Twitter (allow my obese thighs - I'll post a redeeming picture of them at the end of the post):

So I flew out there with "Alitalia" - REALLY BUTTERZ airline. They gave us olive crackers for breakfast. They were a par:

Basically this is what Milan looks like (all them wires are because there is a tram going through the city - I'm not gonna tell you what I thought they were cos I'll sound dumb):

They named a restaurant after me but spelt my name wrong:

Went to Prada for some light shopping:

Bought BOTH of these outfits:

Basically everyone drives a Fiat. EVEN the trees drive a Fiat:

I quickly went to the touristy bit and saw the Duomo Cathedral which was amazing:

Then I had to do work. (Go to a conference thing and then to a party). They spelt my name wrong on my badge (don't worry I parred them - they were giving me free alcohol for hours though so I couldn't complain really):

I repped my magazine on the graffiti walls and screen at the event I went to:

Then I wrote this on the wall but no-one got it:

This caricaturist was BEGGING to draw me - APPARENTLY I'm Bruce Forsyth. I was screwing:

Then I went back to the hotel and after dancing around to bashment on my iPod I then tuned into the hotel bangers (I'll let you lot guess what I chose to listen to...):

Then finally British Airways brought me back to London safe and sound and provided me with the disposal facilities for Wastemen:

It was a very short but very sweet break on which I didn't really relax but had a grrrrreat time.

I'm going away next month too. Somewhere else. For longer. So OBVIOUSLY there should be more to say then.
I will post links to my work once its good to go.

Ciao for now x

Emotional Emails

2009-09-21T22:57:00.001+01:00

I get the most random emails from my blog readers. Some of them make me laugh, some of them make me frown but every now and again some of them will really inspire me and touch my heart. (There are also the ones that touch my special place too but it's not about lowering the tone tonight...even though I kinda just did. Allow it).

I woke up this morning to this lovely, inspiring, beautifully worded email - the only thing that could have made this better was if it had been sent by telegram and written using a pen and paper but alas! The email did an equally good job in making me smile, laugh, sigh and then, well smile again.

Let me share it:

Thank you :)
You know who you are.
This email was the best way to start what I hope will be a grrreat week.

And just so that this isn't a completely gay and emotional and cheese on toast with a sideline of pericheese post:
UM ARE YOU FUCKING DIZZY BABEZ?

Buy it off iTunes now before I knock you the fuck out.

YOU CAN'T GET OVER MEEEEE.

(You might think you can, but you won't traaaassssmeeeee)

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself"

2009-09-19T16:30:00.001+01:00

I collect words.

When I was a very little girl and I first discovered pens and felt tips, my mum told me I used to spend my days writing on the walls in our house in the countrrraaayyyy. After the wrath of the Greek mother and the fact that she realised some paper might come in use, my love for pens began to express itself on paper. Well at least I THOUGHT it was a love for pens. Once I went to school, learned English (because until I was 4 I could only speak Greek) and learned to use my pens to put a meaning onto the paper, it turns out I didn't have a love for pens after all. Apparently I had a love for pictures and WORDS.

So blah blah blah, cliche cliche cliche, a million years later I had developed an obsession with reading and writing. I could color in the lines but my drawing skills could never match my fixation for spellings and prose. By the time I was a teenager I had read a truckload of books, written a number of short stories and so my dreams of becoming a writer commenced. I also began writing things I liked, quotes and anecdotes down in a notebook. Not necessarily just from books but things I'd read in magazines, see on adverts, things my friends would say - like a collection of thoughts I wanted to remember. Obviously I have more than one of these 'notebooks' now since I started collecting words back when I was a teenager. It has taken on a number of forms - from an A5 Superwoman pad, to stolen school exercise books, to random scraps of paper stapled together, to my my current one which I got a couple of months ago - it's this girly flowery little pad which I bought from Selfridges because I HAD to write down something this girl on the train was saying to her friend about some guy. ("When I didn't like him I liked him, now I like him I hate him" - Hahahahaha GET ME).

ANYWAY

The crap written in them varies from book quotes (The Stinky Cheese Man to Sense and Sensibility), Eastenders one-liners ("It's called being polite"), plans for world domination (First step is take your right hand), life changing ideas (TO DO: Invent something amazing and become a millionaire by 25) and things people have said-things some of YOU LOT have said ("I like my men like I like my coffee - with a big dick!") Anyway last night I was reading one of my most recent purchases - Julie and Julia (because yes, I do like to read easy feel good novels when I'm not busy reading Tolstoy, Balzac or Dickens) and I pulled out my infamous notebook to write down something I liked (""simple" is not exactly the same as "easy"") and sprawled across one page between the numerous "Loukia ♥'z erm...a moron" and doodles of alien pigs holding bunches of flowers was this quote from the great Oscar Wilde which I wrote down acouple weeks ago:

Now Oscar Wilde said A LOT of things. He is one of my favorite writers of all time. A playwright, journalist, socialite all round celebrity (yo!) Sometimes I wish I was alive in the late Victorian century to have been one of his contemporaries. I've read a lot of his work - partly down to my time at uni but mostly down to the fact that after the first time I read The Importance of being Earnest Mr. Wilde had my heart.

So basically I got to thinking about this 'advice' quote and realised that I practice it down to a T. I've noticed lately that when it comes to other people I'm an amazing agony aunt. I give grrrrreat advice. I always seem to know the right thing to say and know the right thing to do. Tell me your problems and I'll give you a solution. When it comes to my own life however - DO I FUCK?! In times where grrrrreat advice should be taken on and manifested, I say the dumbest things, do the opposite of what I would advise my friends to do if they were in a similar situation and probably act completely irrational, unreasonable and borderline insane. I know the right thing to do and if I was talking to you I'd make it sound so easy, at the click of a finger you'll be ok. When it comes to my own life though the good advice I give and the good advice that has been passed on to me gets lost in a profusion of self-pars.

So as I sit here wallowing in unrequited infatuation and mending my broken heart and damaged ego, I think it's about time I started taking my own advice. Or implore the masses to give me theirs because it's never going to be any use to them. Mind you there's not point is there - it won't be of any use to me either, I'l probably just send it on.

Now as far as my love ford words goes, little girl Loukia and big girl Loukia are one and the same but as far as good advice goes.....welllll.....get me.

Good advice < < < < <

PLAAAAATEZZZZZ

2009-09-17T21:02:00.000+01:00

Hiya babez you cool yeh? K safe.
Ummm you wanna come round mine for dinner?

We can get hyphy like they do in this Taverna:

If you want you can also do this for jokes:

Explanations:

Basically I don't know who this Nicole slag is yeh but she's lying. The reason we smash plates is because erm, HIYA it's really fun, we like to live on the motherfucking edge and also OBVIOUSLY Tempz told us to. So yeh. Come round, eat some moussakka, have a little dance off and then destroy the crockery.

*Please Note: Do not try this at home or without the supervision of a Greek psychopath to ensure your safety and well-being.

Scrabble Party

2009-09-16T11:06:00.000+01:00

Next week I'm going to a Scrabble Party. If you know me then you know how excited I am at the prospect of this. Call me a geek, call me whatever but words are the love of my life. I challenge any of you. Let's do thissssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Just Saying.

Frisco - Eyes On You Launch Party.

2009-09-15T22:54:00.001+01:00

So on Friday I went to the Box Fresh/Boy Better Know party for the launch of Frisco's new single 'Eyes on You' .

After consuming a VAT of pearciderrosecorona cocktails it is safe to say it was an affair to remember. The only problem is ACTUALLY remembering it. That and the fact that I look like a PRICK on 99 per cent of the pictures I appear in. But whatever. I had a grrreat time. Obviously my love for Frisco meant that I couldn't possibly not have had a good time but yeh. The entire Boy Better Know entourage were there obviously. After the warm up DJ's gave us a headache, we watched the video on this screen thing (which I think is good?? Ask Corona if you need to confirm this), then Maximum took to the decks and everyone got hyphy whilst bare live PA's and all that good stuff where occuring. I wish I could elaborate more and go into detail but I made a faux pas and spent most of the night drinking and doing things I may or may not have later regreted but alas! we can't be good/sane girls ALL the time.

I was too fucked to take any photos of decency but here's a few anyway.

Everyone was knocking the absolute fuck out of each other "skankin" and getting hype:

Apparently I thought this would be funny/fit because I'm a prick sometimes:

Julie wore the infamous birthday shoes:

Aaron BBR1 spoke in terms of endearment by calling me a brummy cunt, told me to go fuck myself and to shut the fuck up but all in the name of love because Aaron's love for me and my crew is the kind from the movies <3:

Eleni and DJ Doctor Skilliam had a moment apparently (I actually die of laughter at this photo EVERY time):

And finally Frisco and Eleni did this (so did I but I'm so fucked on the photo it would be unfair of me to show it to you):

I can't wait till I'm a famous grime MC so I can have launch parties. Overall it was a great night which was topped off by Logan Sama's hairdo. I would like his stylists number because he has beautiful, beautiful hair.

Anyway here is the official video:

Dear Frisco,
Ohmydaysicantsayit.
Love Louks.x

Hammer - Hurricane City

2009-09-15T15:26:00.001+01:00

You know how I love MCs from Norf Landan yeh... Well you know Hammer yeh.... Well I'm his new biggest fan. To be honest I may not know loads about him but I definitely know that I'm his new biggest fan. Let me explain. So basically I got sent the press release for Hammer's new E.P "Hurricane City" which is out on the 21st of September and to promote this he has made the SICKEST video. It's spreading like wildfire across the internet and quite frankly I'm so impressed with the concept and the music too that I'm fully intrigued now.

Official press blurrrb: "The video guides viewers through various scenarios, and encourages them to take on the role of Hammer, deciding what action he should take. The end result leads viewers to one of three videos - 'Stinkin', 'Hurricane' and 'Silence Man', singles from his forthcoming E.P, 'Hurricane City'."

I know-BRAP init!

Watch and click:

Big up for doing something refreshing and intelligent. Not all MCs are donuts. This is brilliant.

Look out for "Hurricane City", out on the 21st September.

PS. Hiya Hammer, my name is Loukia, I'm your new biggest fan. Hollllllllaaaaaaaa :)

FALAFELT.I.

2009-09-10T01:04:00.000+01:00

WHAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY RIGHT NOW:

YUMMMMMMMM YUM YUM YUMMMMMMYYYYY YYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YUM YUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM.
YUMMMMMMMM YUM YUM YUMMMMMMYYYYY YYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YUM YUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM.YUMMMMMMMM YUM YUM YUMMMMMMYYYYY YYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YUM YUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM.

OR THIS TO BE FAIR:

HOLY MOLEY! HE'S TOO FIT. I HAVE TO AVERT MY EYES!

"YEH SO CAN I GET A FALAFEL FLATBREAD WITH HOUMOUS AND SALAD AND A SIDE ORDER OF T.I. TO TURN ME INSIDE OUT PLEASE....."

Quokes PART 4.

2009-09-09T00:23:00.001+01:00

#MOTHSFIDEAD

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

QUOKES PART 3.

2009-09-09T00:06:00.006+01:00

ANONYMOUS: "You know them girls that are just morbidly obese but they take pictures of their bums and tits and add strictly "BOYZZZ FROM DA GHETTO" to their profiles? Them girls are jokes."

HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

QUOKES PART 2.

2009-09-09T00:03:00.005+01:00

Skevi: "Yeh well Polish people come from the North Pole so they're obviously used to the cold."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!

Quokes Part 1.

2009-09-09T00:00:00.006+01:00

"I'm so miserable without you it's almost like having you here."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

*QUOTES + JOKES = QUOKES init.

The Goddess Files

2009-09-08T10:48:00.006+01:00

What do you know about Goddesses? Obviously I know loads because these hoes are my ancestors. I can't wait till thousands of years from now when I'm dead and there are concrete/marble statues made of me pouting, gunfingerz up and batty sticking out, in people's gardens and in museums and shit.

In my former life I was a goddess. Loukia Goddess of chatting shit, eyeliner and loving off rudeboys. My symbols were a bic biro, Mac powerpoint pencil and a T-shirt bearing the words "Yo roodboy wagwan? Come and intimidate me and call me peng yeh? K Safe x". I obviously use the term "former life" very loosley here seeing as this is currently my present life. The point is, every Greek girl is taught that a part of her however big or small, how ever round and pert or soft and saggy is in fact directly descendant of the Goddesses of Mount Olympus and in one way or another has a secret super power which can charm or cause chaos to the masses. It's not just Greeks though - as long as you have huge hair, you have a relatively yellow or green or brown tinge to your skintones (basically if you look like casper 'llow it) and have an arse/hips that people could use the word "POW" to describe, then you're pretty much goddess material. Come and join the toga party!

These women are the original suffragettes, the innovators of the girl power movement and the first gashlings to very often have power over that butterz species we like to call "male"(which we unfortunately also like to love and adore) . A lot of them were right slags, take Aphrodite for example - Goddess of Beauty, Lust and Love... Goddess of breaking mens hearts, getting her leg over and general jezzy activites more like! What about Hera - Goddess of marriage childbirth and women - I don't know about marriage but she had a kid with her brother so incest was deffo the in thing for her! And how about the muses - gurlzzz like Calliope, Thalia and Urania. These lot were goddesses of the arts, poetry, music, dance and literature (much like the PTC crew) and brought inspiration to heroes, humans and Gods to do their very best. Whatever they were all the goddesses had brilliant life philosophies, they got up to loads of mad shit like when Actaeon was watching Artemis bathe so she turned him into a stag and licked off his whole head top QUICKTIME blad and were generally just fucking gangstah.

So as part of the Pum Pum Power element of the blog each week I will feature a Goddess of the Week post where we will discuss one home girl's powers, her history and how to be a modern version of her today. I will be kick starting the series with Athena which I will post later. Keep your eyes peeled. And gentlemen be warned. When your girlfriends read this shit you lot better keep on your best behavior cos these bithces don't front. They'll straight up curse the shit out of you, castrate you and feed you to a cyclops ya get me.

One Love.

Pricks

2009-09-07T18:28:00.007+01:00

Why the fuck do people who have or appear in a video which features on Channel cunting AKA think that they are FAMOUS (no question mark).

Hiya indirect - I know a couple slags who appear in such videos.

SUCK OUT!

You're a prick! You're stood in a derelict car park "grinding" and see your man yeh (the shit mc you're stood next to with the deadout flow who is also linking your best mate who has a cameo appearance in the video cos yano you're bredrins so you hooked your girl up init), yeh well his nan is filming you prick! You ain't famous! You ain't even a video hoe you prick! Until the day chinchilla clad rappers are stuffing dollar bills down your panties and pouring champers on your pum pum you don't even come close - you're just a prick! Aim higher you prick.

PRICK.

"I used to be a stripper but now I'm an R&B dancer"

2009-09-07T11:32:00.004+01:00

You know them ones where you go to a bar and it's DEADOUT, but you don't mind because it's just a local thing and all you want to do is drink pear cider anyway, so you go to the "chill out" seating area bit with your homegirls and then the random 40 something old guy comes up and starts asking the most pathetic things like where you're from and then looks at you like say he's got something lodged in his eye and kind of licks his lips and says:

"I used to be a stripper but now I'm an R&B dancer"

Then he lifts up his top and does this:

Yeh well basically that happened to me yesterday.

NO LIE.

He ACTUALLY did ^^that^^ in our face.

We had never seen him before, he was a complete stranger but he felt comfortable enough to do that. He also did this other move where he was grinding right down low as well but by that point I had dropped my camera from DYING of laughter.

There are some STRANGE people in the world. Strange people.

Frisco: Eyes On You (*Eyes on Loukia...ahem)

2009-09-03T16:33:00.004+01:00

I may or may not be massively in love with Frisco.

Can this song be about me please? Thanksss.

*BIG SIGH*

I don't even care. I'm gonna love this song even if I hate it which I don't but you know what I mean.

Hiya Frisco ;)

Virus Syndicate at King Apparel

2009-09-03T15:57:00.005+01:00

Last Week Manchester's finest dubstep, grime, electro, hip-hop and jungle influenced collective, Virus Syndicate took to the mics in Covent Garden's King Apparel store. As the tequila and rum were flowing to get people into the carnival mood, Plastician, J Da Flex and EL-B kept the crowds hype before Virus Syndicate tore the roof off with performances from their Break Out E.P trilogy.

The hugely talented Charlie Whatley was there to take photos of what went down.

Look out for Virus syndicates next E.P Antidote which is out soon.

Reason 6,535 why Andy Milonakis is the fucking best.

2009-09-03T00:29:00.003+01:00

I AM ACTUALLY CRYINNNGGGG OF LAUGHTER.

COME ON iCHAT NOW AND WATCH ME LAUGH MORE THAN EVER BEFORE.

IT'S EMOTIONAL.

LYRICS BELOW.

Sing along NOW:

Dis a di big brand new dance
Dat run jamaicaa
Check it
tatty, the bogle and the whine
Ya do the buttafly till ya tare ya spine
This ah the brand new dance
Fi all de white boys who have no chance

White bwoy dance white boy dance
White bwoy dance white boy dance
White bwoyyy danceeeeee
White bwoyyy danceeeeee

hide in the corna
Hide in the corner
likle white baty bwoy
hide in the cornah
put ya left hand pon ya wallet
ya adams apple haffe swallow it
look like a deer look a deer
act real scared and look a deer
look like deer headlights
look a deer in headlights

X2
run fi di door
run fi di door
run fi door
just run fi door
you might not see ya family no more
lickle white yoot just run fi da door

White bwoy dance white boy dance
White bwoy dance white boy dance
White bwoyyy danceeeeee
One more chaaaaance
Fi dou da White bwoyyy danceeeeee

"put ya left hand pon ya wallet

ya adams apple haffe swallow it
look like a deer look a deer
act real scared and look a deer
look like deer headlights"

HAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHHHHAHHHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAH

Go spam your mum rudeboy.

2009-09-02T23:37:00.004+01:00

(hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahaaaa

it's called FARK

hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahaaaa

hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahaaaa hahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahaaaa)

ANYWAY.

So as I sit here in my office (bedroom), wondering why I spent £36 on a t-shirt I wear TO BED (fuck you American Apparel) and drinking a cup of tea (white but strong no sugar) in the hope that it will warm me up and tame the children (nipples dem a rise), I was looking through my spam emails in case one of yous lot emailed me and it never came to my inbox.

According to my spam emails:

---I have won approximately $$$987248258549999999900087567999999 and 54 cents

---I have won 7.5 Audi TT's

---I am the sole owner of the secret method of achieving perfect sex with guaranteed orgasms

---I have the option of taking out loans with the best interest rates

---I have the secret to losing 1 stone in 32 seconds by injecting the juice of obscure berries into your earlobes

---I "may have won a holiday for 2 to Venizuela"

When your spam emails bring you better news than your real emails but really it's lies... #dasapar. Now someone go bring me my money, cars, sex tips, loans, accaiifuckaii berries and my tickets to Venizuela.

Fankssss. x

Peter Ed Hardy Andre

2009-09-02T22:51:00.004+01:00

The only thing worse than the existence of Ed Hardy at ALL, is the fact that my cousin Peter Andre is the new face of it. (I use the term "cousin" loosely but we're bound to be related - we're both Cypriot from around the Larnaca area and his uncle Phivos used to serve me ice-cream on the beach every summer until he got knocked over on his scooter and died a couple years ago. RIP).

Now, I'm not being funny yeh (I am being funny) and like no offense or anything (bare offense) but when are people going to realise that Ed Hardy pretty much just looks like someone threw up on your garmz and it just happened to make some kind of pattern.

AND THE FACT that most of you "Ed Hardy Don's" buy it from TKMaxxx is the biggest par of them all! Like don't get me wrong - TKMaxx is good for buying last season's Roberto Cavalli sunglasses at a third of the price, but from the time they sell Ed Hardy lingerie sets it's time to boycott the shop at all costs.

So anyway. Now that PJA is the new face of Ed Hardy all you cool "raving" men won't be alone in your "sick" Ed Hardy matching sets because uncle Peter is gonna spread the word across the villages in Cyprus and before you know it:

Just you wait and see. All the grandpa's in the land will be clad from head to toe in bootleg Ed Hardy. I'll report back in November - I'm going over for my cousin's wedding and I'm gonna get shots of me and the OAP Ed Hardy Man dem.

Bashy on Big Brother and Brian Bello skanks

2009-09-02T22:21:00.005+01:00

Yeh so basically I don't follow Big Brother because unlike you fanatics, I have better things to do with my time like chat bare shit and act all dumb, nurse a broken heart and eat yoghurt with honey and walnuts (cos I'm Greek) but good old Bish Bash Bosh performed on Big Brother's whatever mouth show the other day. Apparently that show loves the "grime kids" having already had Chipmunk and Mz. Bratt perform on there but this ones my fave - if not only for Brian Bello's skanks. I'm literally still dyyyyyiiiinnnnnnngggggggggggg of laughter at Brian.

An appropriate choice of song to perform as well Bashy. Everyone wants to be a flippin millionaire!

When I become a famous grime mc I'm gonna have Brian in ALLLLLLL my videos.

A List of Crap

2009-09-02T15:58:00.010+01:00

Hiya!

You ok? I haven't done a list of observations/bullcrap in a while so here we go:

Hyping things up will only disappoint you so just jam and let things flow.
Sometimes you will get yourself into a sticky situation - patience and being brave will help you through it.
American Apparel have made it their sole ambition to rinse my bank account. PRICKS!
Apparently Tempa T's live PA is a turn on for certain people in raves. (see picture below)
I'm a good girl.
I'm a brave girl :)
Sometimes people will say things to you that make you feel all warm and fuzzy and nice inside then one day they might just decide to stop and not even tell you why. This majorly sucks.
STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO STILL VIMTO
BE NICE.
Actually don't be nice.
My watch cost £8 from a market in Birmingham.
I skip really weirdly.
No wait actually be nice cos most of the time I find un-nice people too intriguing.
I could do with some new shoes.
THE SITUATION: I like you. You don't like me. I think you maybe might've kinda did but the timing/being a pussssy fucked it all up. That's rubbbbiiisssshhh. Unless you secretly love me and you wanna tell me that asap - if not well then we can't have everything and it'll be alright....right? :)
Actually not just new shoes - a new wardrobe. Buy me things please :)
I still haven't deleted twitter - it keeps pulling stunts with the tweet count so I dunnnnooooo what it might do next.
Yoghurts are an excellent substitute when you're trying to avoid cakes, chocolates and all that good stuff.
Ignoring things and pretending they're not there definitely DOES NOT make them go away.
Begging is extremely cringey. Be yourself and don't try and impress anyone by sucking up.
I neeeeeeed a holiday.
I want to bite your face off. :)
Green eyes are NOT evil.
If you wanna say something just say it - longing it out makes it harder to eventually say.
You know more than you think you know just like you know less than you want to know.
Still vimto is in my top 3 drinks of all time.
I always want that which I cannot have.
Timing is everything. If you miss the window of opportunity then you're pretty much screwed. Probably.
"Never say never" and "It's never too late" - liesssss.
Soft nectarines are better than hard ones.
I like my men like I like my coffee.
I want annnuuuvvveeeerrrrr tatttttooooooo
"Sugar plum" is the best term of endearment ever.
Sometimes 1 week feels like 1 year.
I'm gonna knock everyone out!

Tempa T got people on a lippppsssssiiiinnnnn tinnnngggggg:

Cool love you bye. Later x

If you need cheering up:

2009-09-02T14:15:00.006+01:00

Gets me everytime. :)

Reason 6,534.9 why Andy Milonakis is the fucking best.

2009-08-25T22:18:00.002+01:00

"Tweet Tweet Bitch, Tweet Tweet..."

HAHHAHHHHAHAAHHHAHAHAHHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAA

AAHAHHAHAHA

AHAHHAHA

HAHA

HAHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AAAAHAHAHHHAHA

HAHHAHHHHAHAAHHHAHAHAHHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAA

AAHAHHAHAHA

AHAHHAHA

HAHA

HAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAAHHHAHAHAHHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAA

AAHAHHAHAHA

AHAHHAHA

AHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH

HAHA

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HAHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AAAAHAHAHHHAHA

AAAHHHHAHAHHA

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HAHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AAAAHAHAHHHAHA

HAHHAHHHHAHAAHHHAHAHAHHAHHHAAAAAAAAAAA

AAHAHHAHAHA

AHAHHAHA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HAHA

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA

HAHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AAAAHAHAHHHAHA

I actually can't breathe.... Let me Twitter Dat!

Elephant Man Tattoo

2009-08-25T13:43:00.003+01:00

So in preparation for carnival and to make me more carnivally - I'm getting a Cyprus Flag and then a D cup sized version of this picture tattooed to my chest today:

WHAT?!
I'm gonna look sick and buff and gully - don't watch nuffin.

Baile Funk is the Funkin' Best.

2009-08-25T00:53:00.002+01:00

So basically when I grow up I wanna be Brazilian so I can go to Rio Carnival and dance to Baile Funk. It's my new fave genre in case you didn't know. The music is AMAZING. It's like I actually can't keep myself from moving when I hear the rhythms! Also it's good because I noticed that they embrace girls with sizable arses like my own and I'll have an excuse to do shit like this:

What a tune though?!

And how about this for a banger then:

FLIPPINECKKKKK!!!!!! I can't wait to grow up and be Brazilian!

Bigger Than Barry: Rumble in the Jungle August 2009

2009-08-24T23:18:00.004+01:00

Bigger than Barry is one of Birmingham's biggest raves. It brings some of the finest DJ's that grace the decks of London on a weekly basis to the Westest of Midlands. Its always an affair which fills the warehouse bit of The Rainbow Pub and leaves a few hundred people lurking outside as well. They've had the likes of Oneman, Prancehall, Mumdance, Rusko, Warrior Queen and many many more playing out to the "cool kids" of Birmingham city.

This month's secret line-up included Annie Mac and Toddla T as well as residents, Tomb Crew and Manchester's finest - Murkage Cartel. Despite the fact that I turned up fashionably (too) late only to be greeted by security that wouldn't let me in cos the guestlist people had left, I obviously pulled some strings (stuck out my boobs and bum) and before I knew it I was backstage/onstage. It was fucking huge blud.

Annie Mac and Toddla T obviously killed it but my fave set was from Murkage Cartel. HAving recently been featured in Mix Mag they live up to their hype. They were sick! They mixed and mashed it up so much that one minute we were in a funky rave, the next it was grime, then old school garage then dubstep - EVERTHING!

If you ever get a chance to go to one of their raves I advise you to GO!

SO anyway here's a couple photos.

Peoples:

Murkage Cartel onstage:

Murkage Dave getting the crowds hype:

Some prick that drank beer out of a green bottle:

What a prick!!!!

Living in London this is the only event I'd come back to Birmz for. Well this and the ten thousand Big Fat Greek weddings I get invited to on a monthly basis! I mean it's bigger than fucking Barry and rumor has it Barry is a BIG man like Big man ting!

CARNIVAL WEEKEND IS APPROACHING - NO TITLE NECESSARY.

2009-08-24T19:39:00.008+01:00

Bank Holiday/Carnival Weekend is upon us.

BLUUUUDDDDDDCCCCCLAAAAAAARRRRRRRRTTTTTTT!

There is so much going on and so much dutty wining, daggering and tictoc-ing to get through and so much jerk flavoured food to stuff our faces with that I don't even really know where to begin. I have hand picked one event for each day. I'll be the Greek one shaking her rump in the direction of rudeboys crotches like it's nobody's business. This is where I plan to be. LET'S GO!

The party begins on Thursday at King Apparel in Covent Garden:

Virus Syndcate/Plastician/J Da Flex /El B will all be playing FOR FREE!

YES FREEEEEE! And rumor has it there will be free tequila and rum to get us in the party mood. Like I said, it's FREE so get there early to avoid disappointment and take all your friends too.

The only place to be on Friday is at Chockablock:

Well there's a couple other places to be at too but as far as I'm concerned it's all about this.

And guess what - THIS ONE IS FREE TOO.

FACKIN'ELL! It's a credit crunch carnival ya get me fam!

All I'm sayin is flippin Tempz is performing and I've requested that he does a remix of Next Hype called Loukia Hype. He laughed when I told him. I think he thought I was joking. Oi Tempz... I was being serious.

Saturday - URBAN NERDS. ARE YOU MAD:

Erm yeh so the line-up speaks for itself: Footloose and The Heatwave - I think they were specifically booked for me to be honest.

And Finally Sunday - The Heatwave Round 2:

And the best bit - SMUTLEE! Yaaaaay! My FAVE ever.

So basically - if you see me around then come dutty wine with me and watch me get in touch with my Jamaican side. Because apparently I have one of those. Especially since I am fluent in Patois and I say things like "bludclart", "gwan", "bad gyal know fi wine pon di edge" and so on and so forth.

Ok that's all... Gwan and tek weh yuhself from mi bludclart blogclart.

Basically this:

2009-08-22T09:32:00.006+01:00

Yeh so basically this:

Yesterday someone told me that I use too many different font sizes in my blog. I think his exact words were - "Yeh I see your blog init. You use all them crazy mad fonts init. Bare different sizes. It gives man a headache and ting cah it's like bare font sizes STILL."

ALLOW IT!

Maybe I'll stick to one boring font for a while and see how it goes because I don't wanna give my readers a migraine.

Anyway I've been really busy lately. I'm meeting all of my deadlines though so it's aiiight.

Highlights of the week:

>I interviewed Danny Mays and Riz Ahmed from Shifty the other day. They were so nice. Here's a pickcha:

I had just come from a performance as my alter ego Loukira so I wasn't looking my best but they allowed me so it was fine.

>I went for a huge walk.

>I went to a press screening of One Day - a new gang film coming out in November. It's about B-Town init staaaarrrr.

The best line from the film - "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we think with our hearts, they think with their......" They never finished the line but insert the appropriate word. "Insert" get it?! Haha! (I don't even care, I'm laughing at my own crap joke).

Ummm what else.

>Oh yeh! Giggs was at this screening. You know Giggs the one that goes, "uuhhhmmm" and comes from SN1. Yeh that Giggs. So I basically went cinema with Giggs aka DA 'ARDEST. I feel WELL gangsta now.

>I also think I parred myself at some point.

I'm gona tell you more about these joyous events soon because I gotsta go do lots of work now.

Oh and who the fuck left the Bob Monkhouse comment on the post below?

If it's the real Bob Monkhouse then I really don't mind sharing him. He ain't my type anyway. My type is a lonnnggggggg story to tell right now.

Anyway bye.

Let me share this with you.

2009-08-19T23:46:00.004+01:00

I don't mind sharing things.

Things like clothes, shoes, interesting facts, food, drinks, my bed etc...

In fact I enjoy it.

But there's one thing I hate sharing.

Actually two things I hate sharing.

Firstly eye makeup because that is just OVERLY butterz.

AND

Secondly.........WELL.....I'm not gonna tell you.

I can't tell you because you'll judge me.

Plus I think I'm being extreme.

Although actually maybe I'm not because certain things aren't meant to be shared.

But anyways.

YEH.

You can guess if you like - I'm sure you won't get it.

Actually some of you might.

SO yeh.

I don't wanna share.

BASICALLY.

Maybe I'll tell you another day...

You ain't royalty and your name ain't Donald so why you tryin' it for?

2009-08-19T00:45:00.004+01:00

I've noticed that recently Facetybook has had an influx of royalty and mafia leaders joining.

You know the ones:

Pwincess Louise

Don Hoodbwoy

Prince SupaFlyyy

Princess Glitter lover

Don Swaggadagga

and so on and so forth.

FOR FUCKSAKE.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS BEFORE ALL YOU PRICKS TAKE HEED OF MY WISDOM HUH?!

Unless you're royalty or unless you're name is ACTUALLY "Donald" or summink then just ALLOW IT. And furthermore - DON'T TRY AND ADD ME!

Why would I wanna be friends with someone whos is blates not royalty but adopts the title "Princess"? Or someone who thinks he's a "Don" when he's blates sat in his local internet cafe "jammin with his bredrin catchin nuff joke on youtube and adding bare random bufftings". Real Dons don't do that y'know - they live in huge houses with broadband in them and get involved in corrupt business deals which bring in bare money and then buy diamonds for their wives to cover up the fact that they're fucking their secretary or next door neighbor or summink. If that ain't you then you're not a don so stop claiming to be one.

FLIPPINECK.

STOP IT NOW.

BE NORMAL.

OVER MEEEEEEEEE

2009-08-18T23:33:00.003+01:00

"This bass will knock your gran OVER"

Jme's got bars for fucking weeks.

And as for the video - an emcee having fights with floating words? What's not to love babez.

SICK in its entirety.

Maybe I'll leave a comment under the youtube in disguise as a rudeboy like this:

"man iz overly sik lyk swineflu in dis grime ting yagemme"

Congratulations. You went Napa and met an MC.

2009-08-14T02:00:00.004+01:00

Ladies take note:

If you go to Napa and meet your favourite MC and you ambush him then no doubt he will chat to you, maybe even flirt with you because:

A) He has no choice

B) He's being polite and

C) He has a dick.

Now this does not mean that he is now your bredrin. And if he winks at you or says something flirty it does not mean he wants to wifey you either. He's done that to bare girls. Like get a grip. It ain't just you.

SO basically in light of this, would you all now please refrain from tagging them on Facebook in albums called "Went Napa but did we bang doe?" and leaving pathetic comments under the photos or writing on their walls saying "Hey Mister do u memba me doe babez? xxxxx"

Because:

A) He probably doesn't remember you and

B) You sound like an absolute prick babez.

So yeh. Just saying.

She Likes... *Loukia likes

2009-08-12T15:53:00.004+01:00

I'm not into grime boys or anything but there's only really one way to look at this video:

Wiley - too old.

Chipmunk - would get it daily.

Bashy - his new video springs to mind so llllow it.

Ice-Kid - JAILBAIT.

Griminal - yes Griminal, it's you you youyouyouyouuuu. all day long babe!

Scorcher - lemmebeyourgrimewagyeh?

Ghetts - I swear he says "I'm a hot boy" or summink on one bit. BABEZ I beg to differ. Big MC doe, big MC doe..

Wretch 32 - ALLOW it

J2K - hmmm....unsure.

Wrigley - Who the fuck is Wrigley?

Ok cool.

Now that's out the way, basically the song is quite shit.

Chipmunk and Griminal make it.

That is all.

BLOGBETTERKNOW.

NEW WEBSITE!

Hello

LATERS

The Grime Awards. Get me still safe fam blud.

Na na naaaiiiii

For the Fun of It

The Dilf Diaries

Make me 'Say Ahh' then...GOSH!

Another day, another revelation. This is what it is:

HOT AIR BALLOON SEASON

HAPPY NEW.....EARS :)

Yo, 2009, LATERS!

FOOD #fidead

10 reasons why the festive season is a prick.

Show me that I'm special tell me boy...

Everybody knows that we're OGz...

It's SO cold.

Reasons why I want to have a threesome with Shakira Part 2:

DEAD PAR-DY/ED HARDY. PRICKS.

Reasons why I want to have a threesome with Shakira:

Wisdom comes with age and experience...kind of.

I'm REALLY shy...

HIYA.

Twords

GOOGLE WAVE...

Remember Remember the 6th of December Part 2: The word "SMOG" is Nang.

Remember Remember the 6th of December

Not A Hater

My ancestors>Yours.

Men in raves are weird.

ABCDEFG

I say 'LIKE' too much.

Kieran Shakieran Yates

Rinse and FaaaarrrrWaaaaarD>> Twentieth of November Two Thousand and Get Me

HIYA BABEZ - imitation is the finest form of flattery :)

Marianna's got bars

Random shit from the Interwebtings that caught my eye...

A Short Story.

iPhone Crew

I fancy everyone and I'm always horny

Being Nice :)

10 reasons why autumn/winter is better than summer

Oh Gosh

HIYA :)

In case you didn't get the memo: they're going in

Ami Baby.

*PAUSE*

Bring Back 90s RnB Part 3

The Awesome Foursome

Since you went away you became not so solid.

FOOD PRUDES

Bring Back 90s RnB Part 2

Bring Back 90s RnB Part 1

FREELOAD: JJ's House and Tribal mix October '09.

Bad Intentions

Kiss Kiss

SUPER SUPER Issue 18

Lipsin Ting

Frisco - Darkside

Go Down.....load these mixes.

Ctrl.Alt.Shift Short Film Presentation and Party

"I 'shagged' him cos he broke my bracelet. Not my fault."

Q: What does Tek Buddy mean? A: Why don't you ask Vybz Kartel.

I like you.

Thigh Redeeming for Neyull

Shakira Girl Crush

Milan - Yo rudeboy stai andando a sbattere Doe?

Emotional Emails

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself"

PLAAAAATEZZZZZ

Scrabble Party

Frisco - Eyes On You Launch Party.

Hammer - Hurricane City

FALAFELT.I.

Quokes PART 4.

QUOKES PART 3.

QUOKES PART 2.

Quokes Part 1.

The Goddess Files

PAUSE