The Grime Awards. Get me still safe fam blud.

So the people over at Grimeforum had the genius idea of having 'Grime Awards' this year. I don't know if it's the first time this has happened but it's brilliant. As a fan of Grime music let me just say, that all jokes aside (and let's face it there are many to be made) I think this is a really great idea to recognise, congratulate and highlight the huge amount of talent there is in the scene. Hopefully it will be another small step in diminishing the cliches that come with it. I recently spoke to someone who said they appreciate the beats and the sound of grime, but from when an MC opens their mouth it becomes child's play which I think is very unfair. Now I'm no grime know-it-all or insider by any means, all that is left to the pros but the fact that I'm from the Midlands (bassline heaven) and grim stole my heart - I think I'm a nice fan :)

Despite this, however, I have still been dying of laughter for the past hour. The thought of a Grime Awards ceremony has had me unable to breathe and triggered all these questions in my head like; What park will they be held in? Will the winners get a real fake gold medal shaped like a shank? Who is presenting? What if Maniac wins an award - will there be a live stream of him in prison accepting his prize whilst doing push-ups and wearing a bandana? What refreshments will be served, magic brownies? Will there be anyone on standby in case Tempz doesn't win anything and commences to boy off da ting? What will the acceptance speeches be like? I really hope that there will be a ceremony and if I don't get invited then let's hope SBTV will be there to catch the tears, tantrums and fresh trims.

If I was doing my own Grime Awards they'd probably go more like this:

Sexiest Grime MC:
Skepta
Griminal
JME
Tempz
P Money
Frisco
Little Dee
All of the above.
None of the above.

Sexiest Grime DJ:
(if you don't know what they look like vote by which voice you'd rather hear screaming your name)
Spyro
Vectra
JJ
Maximum
Logan (and his hair)
Butterz
All of the above.
None of the above.

Sexiest Producer:
(if you don't know what they look like go by which beat you'd rather bang to)
Silencer
Maniac
Terror Danjah
Rude Kid
Dot Rotten
All of the above.
None of the above.

Video that you wish you were in:
Next Hype - as the role of Tempz's girlfriend who helps him kick off the HDTV from the stand.

Over Me - as the woman that JME does what ever he does with those flying words to.

Goin' In - as one of the groupies in the background.

Other - basically one I haven't mentioned cos I haven't seen.


Bar that makes you go all tingly in your special place:
JME - "When I’m 'ere dont bring ur ting OVER
Cos ur girlfriends heart I’ll win OVER
She’s deep in love I’ll swim OVER
She’ll go head over heels and spin OVER"

TEMPZ - "What d'you know about the all-star pars
Don't wanna see man driving his car,
Hide behind tints with the leng in the car,
I jumped out the car put the leng to his heart,
I said "get out the CAR!"
I said "this aint a PAR!"
I smashed the window dragged man out the car
(DRAPES!) Get out the car!"

P Money - "I think mans got it in for me,
Heard dem man wanna go gym for me.
Because half of da girls are linkin' me,
But it's cool though it's not a thing to me.
Bare foolishness dem a bring to me.
To the face I will tell a man simply,
If you don't want your girlfriend to check me out
Don't let your girlfriend bump into me."

'Commercial' Grime artist whose wag you'd rather be:
The 'bonkers' Dizzee Rascal?
Would you like to 'take that' from Wiley?
Maybe you want a 'diamond ring' from Chipmunk?
Or is Tinchy Stryder your 'number one'?


Send us your votes which will be counted and verified. Results will be announced at the end of the month. Happy voting.