Recovering from my birthday intoxication has been long and emotional but now I'm over it I thought I'd share some of my twenty something wisdom with you. Plus I need to vent. And anyway, I’ve noticed that amongst all the crap, the irony, the bullshit and the talk of rudeboys and music, my blog has become a bit of a diary.
Airing your personal business to anyone but the people involved in it, isn't the in thing. However, I’ve come to realise that sharing things with potential strangers is actually quite liberating. Especially when it is concerning matters of the heart. I think its because you can be totally honest with a stranger. As they don’t have any preconceptions of you or the people involved, they can see things with an objective mind. The fact that I probably know most of you reading this contradicts what I’m about to do but even so, there’s also that slight satisfying feeling that even if you do talk about personal things, as long as you maintain anonymity, if the people you’re talking about are reading then they will know it’s about them when you praise them, when you slew them and when you generally just want to tell a story. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
FYI I’m not talking about indirects here – on the contrary I'm all for honesty and being real with people. You should always tell people exactly how you feel because it’s fair on them and fair on you. I think that “indirecting” (for lack of a better word) after you’ve actually told the person your issue or your praise is acceptable because they already know you think that.
Anyway. A few weeks ago some guy kind of broke my heart. I don’t think he meant to but he did. He broke it into tiny moth shaped pieces. Not only because my adoration and maybe love for him is unrequited (because allow that shit anyway), but mainly because every good thing I thought about him as a friend might have turned out to be a trick my mind played on me and not true at all. Romantic and platonic heartbreak occurring simultaneously is a horrible feeling that is very hard to describe but if I had to try and describe it I’d say it feels like…. I’ll get back to you.
So now, as I bravely embark upon the epic journey of mending my broken heart, so it can be used on someone else, as I try and turn frowns and sighs back into laughs, smiles, as I become what I was pre-heartbreak (REALLY funny and really nice…even more than usual – I promise, ask my mum), I’m noticing how much I’ve actually learned over the past 6 months. And If I’ve learned anything at all, it’s that I’ve learned a number of things (see how funny I am). Oi I feel like Carrie Bradshaw!
Here goes:
1) Anyone is capable of being anything - Good or bad. Never underestimate people you don't really rate and never think that the people you hold highest in your opinion can’t let you down because they can…and they will.
2) Give everyone a chance.
3) Be grateful - Cliché as it sounds, there are always people worse off than you. Moaning and moping around feeling sorry for yourself keeps you in that state of mind, not to mention how utterly unattractive it is. If you don’t like something, change it!
4) Be honest - It might make you vulnerable at times but at least you’re being true to yourself. It might also make people dislike you sometimes, but you should prefer to be disliked for being honest than to be liked for feeding people the lies that make them disillusioned.
5) Don’t believe everything you hear, read or even see - Things always look different under the influence of alcohol, tiredness and infatuation.
6) The people you care about most will make you feel sad sometimes - If they don’t then you don’t care about them enough.
7) Being brave is underestimated – It’s harder than people think but we should be brave in everything we do. Take chances and whatever the outcome have the courage to deal with it accordingly.
8) Never let anyone make you feel inadequate - If you’re not good enough for them, they’re not good enough for you.
9) Expect the unexpected - You could be in for a nice, cross-atlantic surprise. ;)
Finally…the thing I’ve found to be most useful and most influential these past 6 months is a piece of advice comprising of two little words. It began as a silly in joke/pathetic flirtation but it’s the best thing I used to hear on a daily basis (and if you’re reading this, it's not just because your accent is fit :-P ):
10) “Be nice” - If you can do this you can do anything. In a world as corrupt as this one, living in cities where ruthlessness seems to be more admired than kindness (HOLD TIGHT L DUTTY N), it might be a near impossible thing but just do it. Because being nice makes people feel nice and if you can make people feel nice you'll get the nicest feeling you’re ever going to get, in return. Plus karma is a bitch and she will come around and knock you the fuck out. The irony behind this last one........I'll tell you another day.
I guess every cloud really does have a silver lining :)
(And P.S. I’ve also learned how to use Photoshop, Google Analytics and a new party trick but that’s a whole other post).
SO let's end this post on a high note.
My birthday was amazing.
If you weren't there then you missed out.
Here's about 20 of the 200 photos we took:
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